Vehicle jokes
Are you a train? Because I want you to run over me. :)
What’s a Muslim’s favorite car?
A Citroën C4.
What's the difference between a homeless person and a car?
Only one gets fuel.
Why did the kid drop his ice cream cone?
Because he got hit by a bus!
A physicist, an engineer and a programmer were in a car driving over a steep alpine pass when the brakes failed. The car was getting faster and faster, they were struggling to get round the corners and once or twice only the feeble crash barrier saved them from crashing down the side of the mountain. They were sure they were all going to die, when suddenly they spotted an escape lane. They pulled into the escape lane, and came safely to a halt.
The physicist said, "We need to model the friction in the brake pads and the resultant temperature rise, see if we can work out why they failed."
The engineer said, "I think I've got a few spanners in the back. I'll take a look and see if I can work out what's wrong."
The programmer said, "Why don't we get going again and see if it's reproducible?"
How does a blonde turn the light off after sex?
She closes the car door.
What is long, yellow and can’t swim?
A school bus full of orphans.
A man went to a Ford dealership hoping to find a car, but he said they weren't affordable.
Are you a sports car? Because you give my heart quite a rush!
What do you call a cab for black men?
A cop car.
I told a kid in a wheelchair that he should use his rocket league booster.
If you buy a Renault Megane, all your girls will be gone.
What’s yellow and can sink a bus full of kids?
What takes up 10 parking spaces? Five female drivers.
Why do orphans never get a car?
Because their parents need to buy them one.
What do you call an Indian in a Lamborghini?
Curry in a hurry.
What's the difference between three dead babies and a Ferrari?
I don't own a Ferrari.
Levon Aronian's wife died in a car crash. That's wheelie unfortunate.
How many people can you fit in a car?
6 - 3 in the back, 2 in the front, and my nan in the ashtray.
I hope Stephen Hawking was an organ donor, 'cause I need some parts for my go-cart.