Use jokes
I used to believe everything in the Bible until I read about the Jew giving out the free fish.
When we were kids, we used to be afraid of the dark.
But when we grew up, the electricity bill made us afraid of the light!
Yo mama so fat that the US (Mexico) and North Korea (South Korea) got into a war fighting over who gets to use her as their border wall.
Yo mama so fat, she has to use pillowcases for socks.
This is the log reference. Use it to post your logs. Logs can be posted by Info Gatherers or Announcers.
/{[(Log date) -Month- -Year- -Day-] -Log Title- } "-Log Information- " End of Log
Thank you, -Connor
Yo forehead so big, an airplane can use that as a runway!
I have a better method of abortion than currently used. It's like a regular one, except you can get free food out of it... We're about to give baby-back ribs a whole new meaning.
I used to date a girl with a lazy eye. Turns out she was seeing someone else the whole time.
I used to be addicted to the hokey pokey, but then I turned myself around.
What do people that can only use half their face and wankers have in common?
They have both had a few strokes.
Why can't orphans operate Apple devices?
Because they don't know how to use the home button.
What's the difference between a nuclear reactor and your step sis? You need to use protection for the nuclear reactor.
Q. Why was the orphan unable to use the phone?
A. He was trying to phone home.
An orphan uses a family bathroom, and when he comes out, he gets told, "This is a family bathroom."
A kid named Timmy said to his dad that he had sex with his teacher, and his dad was proud of him and gave him a bike.
The kid said, "I can't use it; my butt hurts!"
A blonde walks into the doctor's office. She tells the doctor, "My boyfriend has dandruff."
The doctor tells her to use Head and Shoulders. She leaves. About an hour later, the doctor's phone rings. He answers, it's the blonde. The doctor asks how he can help her. "Well doctor, I understand head, but how do you 'hove' shoulders?"
What's the difference between a baby and a bowling ball?
You can't use a pitchfork to get the bowling ball out of the truck.
The teacher asked the class to use the word “fascinate” in a sentence.
Molly put up her hand and said, “My family went to my granddad's farm, and we all saw his pet sheep. It was fascinating.”
The teacher said, “That was good, but I wanted you to use the word ‘fascinate,’ not 'fascinating'.”
Sally raised her hand. She said, “My family went to see Rock City and I was fascinated.”
The teacher said, “Well, that was good Sally, but I wanted you to use the word ‘fascinate’.”
Little Johnny raised his hand, but the teacher hesitated because she had been burned by Little Johnny before. She finally decided there was no way he could damage the word “fascinate,” so she called on him.
Johnny said, “My aunt Carolyn has a sweater with ten buttons, but her tits are so big she can only fasten eight!”
The teacher sat down and cried.
"{[(Log date) 11 22 3] The Beginning} "This marks the first ever log of the Underground Fruit Association of n&c (ugfa). N, being code name for Nathaniel, and C, being code name for Connor. Our plan is to collect as many fruit cups as possible by the end of the year. This site will be a communication hub only and used for nothing else. We will plan and discuss courses of action, and collection." End of log"
Grandfather's last words: "Stop shaking the ladder, you cunt!"
Grandmother's last words: "You know how to use that hammer."
Dad's last words: "Always aim before you shoot that gun."
Mom's last words: "Turn off the stove when you're done."
My last thought: Am I a murderer?