What did the two crewmates say when they were hanging on a rope? POLUS UP
A guy walks into a bar. He goes up to the bartender and says: If i can suprise you, i get a free drink. The bartender was unsure but agreed. The guy pulled up a 30cm long pianist out of his pocket and he starts to play The bartender was suprised and gave the guy a free drink The guy then sais: You see, i have a little wizard in my pocket that grants wishes, can i get another free drink if you get a free wish? The bartender agrees without hesitation The bartender wishes for a 1000 bucks, but he gets a 1000 ducks WTF! the man shouts. The guy answered: Did you think i wanted a 30cm long pianist
little Johny asked teacher wy you where no shirt teacher sys because i want to teacher drops her pencil and picks it up the class starts laughing what so funny a kid took of your ba and we see your squish sexy boobs
I love Steven Hawking’s stand-up comedy!
I love Steven Hawking's stand-up comedy!
The teacher asked the class what they wanted to be when they grew up Johnny said when he grows up hes going to be A motherfuking Hustler he's going to have a wife and live in a big house in the country with maids and butlers and drive a rolls- Royce and he's also going to have apartment in the City where his side bitch is going to live he's going to buy her expensive jewelry whatever she wants cars diamonds clothes shoes the teacher didn't know what to say so she calls on Sally what do you want to be when you grow up? Sally said I want to be Johnny's bitch.
Many were curious about how methane ended up on Mars. I'm pretty sure it was because of Uranus.
having sex in the woods and a deer walks up and fucks you from the back.
People with bad past end up creating the worst future...
why don't orphans go home at pick up? cuz they don't have parents to pick them up
I talk about the girls in my math class simping over anime characters and making random ships as well as for miraculous ladybug childrens show whatever the show is called but its a kids show. Skull emoji. Now they’re searching up pictures of tom holland laughing in their absolute weirdness. I like Tom Holland but these kids man, they like him like they’re in a relationship. They might as well start kissing and licking the screen. They’re probably writing fanfictions in their free time when they aren’t searching up kids show characters, anime characters, and Tom Holland pics on their SCHOOL CHROMEBOOK. Their only device choice was a school provided laptop which is monitored by the school while they are writing fan fictions on google docs and searching up some weird Tom Holland stuff. Imagine how Tom Holland would feel if he found out that there are 11 year old girls searching up some weird stuff about him
Jim was caught beating a man up. Brooklyn took a picture of his license plate with her phone and told him your life is ruined. So Jim took a picture of her and the next thing you know he said is NOW MY PHONE IS RUINED.
What is the worst comedy for disabled people?
Stand Up Comedy!
If you ever become depressed, try drinking a gallon of water before going to sleep... That’ll give you a reason to get up in the morning.
I don't call it arson. I call it warming up.
If you ever become depressed, try drinking a gallon of water before going to sleep... That'll give you a reason to get up in the morning
How do you get an orphan to go to sleep?
Tell them there parent are waiting when the wake up.
Why make a joke when i wake up and look at myelf?
My dad seen rupaul drag race? Asked when will they do up the cars!
I tried kidnapping a kid today and told him I was his dads friend and I would take him home, he just curled up into a ball and started crying, kidnapping must be easy.
