Unwanted jokes
What do an abortion and a baby have in common?
The mom doesn't want either of them.
My wife and I have decided that we do not want children.
If anybody does, please send me your contact details and we can drop them off tomorrow.
My first time sex was like buying my first used, crappy car.
I didn't want it, but Dad gave it to me anyway.
Why are orphans good at being a criminal?
Because they're not wanted.
What did the girl get for Christmas?
Cancer.
My wife and I have reached the difficult decision that we do not want children.
If anybody does, please just send me your contact details, and we can drop them off tomorrow.
Hey, I broke up with your girl.
-Me: What? Why?
Wait, what?
-Me: You f**ked her, so it's your baby.
What is the same with emos and orphans? They both are unwanted.
I asked a girl I met if I could take her out to dinner.
The joke is I knew right after she said, "I'll call you," she was lying to me, not surprised even a little.
The next joke was a part of me hoped she would call, but did I really think she was going to? I'll never be good enough for anyone, what was I thinking, why did I even bother to ask her in the first place? I think it was just to prove I was right, I'm unwanted.
LONELINESS EQUALS SADNESS.
If I was a poo, I’d be the one that gets stuck to the bottom of the shitter when no one wants ya xox.
Why did the bounty hunter not cash in an orphan?
He was not worth keeping.
Wife: “I want another baby.”
Husband: “That’s a relief, I also really don’t like this one!”
I went on a walk with a super pretty girl, then she saw me and it turned into a run.
Why can’t an orphan get arrested?
Because they're not wanted.
Rape jokes are like your dad's dick. You don't want it but you still get it anyway.
It must have been a sad day when you slithered out of the abortion bucket.
FICTIONAL BOOKS / AUTHORS
Outdoor Entertaining by Patty O.
Over the Mountaintop by Hugo First.
Plumbing for Idiots by Duane Pipes.
Music Theory by Amanda Lynn Player.
Meterology 101 By Wendy Reign and Sonny Daze.
Oh God By Dixie Rect.
Please Don't Stop By Craven Moorehead.
Life And Times Of A Porn Star By Dixie Normous.
Right Stuff By Dang Lin-Wang.
How To Take Care of Your Cat By Connie Lingus.
Right Way 2 Orgasm By Buster Cherry.
The Unwanted Child By Brooke N Rubbers.
I keep getting these letters from this little girl every year on Father's Day. I told the orphanage to stop letting her send these.
I used to keep asking a woman if I can rape her until she got so annoyed and said, "Stop asking me."
Why were the Twin Towers mad? Because they ordered pepperoni pizza, but all they got was plane.