Why do asses make terrible spies?
Because they always CRACK under pressure
What did the man who had sex with an instagram model in the reverse cowgirl position while going 90 on the freeway get charged for?
Driving under the influencer.
Why is there only a glory hole in the handicapped stall in some public men's rest rooms? because a gay man that is not physically handicapped can't received a blow job from a gay man that is physically handicapped under the handicapped stall
What is it called when a cop hides under his bed? Going undercover.
What did the plane say to the towers : Can't go over it can't go under it oh no we got to go through it
What does a storm cloud wear under his raincoat? Thunderwear.
Man walks in to his bedroom where his wish is carrying a sheep under his arm and says this is the pig I've been fucking.wife says that's not a pig that's a sheep dumbass.husband says I was talking to the sheep
Farmer walks into his bedroom with his wife in bed with a sheep under his arm says this is the pig I'm fucking she say u idiot that's a sheep he says shut up I wasn't talking to you
When a emo ask you to hang * out under a treee 🖕🖕🖕🖕
we cant go under..... we cant go over...oh no we got to go thought it!
What’s under the bottom?
Your legs.
Stupid Mary Jane was swinging on the swing. Her momma said Stupid Mary Jane, don't swing so high, the boys will see your under-ware. Stupid Mary Jane laughed and laughed, she knew she wasn't wearing no under-ware.
What is the difference between a priest and anesthesia? The anesthesia takes a while to put you under.
You learn something new everyday. Like the people in 9 11 are the worlds fastest readers they went through 100s in under a seconds
Family all eating at the table Brother: hmm I think I feel gold Sister: stop the cap Brother look under the table and says “ nope just a gold digger” Dad laughed Step mom storms out of the room
Who are the fastest readers in the world?.... New Yorkers, they went through 110 stories in under 10 seconds.
Why didn't the boy want to read 2000 leagues under the sea? It was too much pressure.
Little Timmy wanted to take a shower with his dad. His dad said don't look down. Timmy looked down. Timmy said "What's that?". Timmy's dad said "that's Mr.wiggles". Timmy wanted to take a shower with his mom. Timmy's mom said don't look down. Timmy looked down. Timmy said "What's that?". Timmy's mom said "that's my garden". Timmy's mom said don't look up. Timmy looked up. Timmy said "What are those?". Timmy's mom said those are her headlights. Timmy wanted to sleep with his parents. His parents said don't look under the covers. Timmy looked under the covers. Timmy yelled "MOMMY, MOMMY, MR.WIGGLES IS ATTACKING YOUR GARDEN! TURN ON YOUR HEADLIGHTS!"
Johnny is very attached to his parents, he asks to take a shower with her when she gets in. He looks down and asks "whats that?"The mother replies "that's my garage" he looks up and asks what are those? The mother responds "those are my headlights." He then goes and takes a shower with his dad. He looks down "daddy whats that?" The dad replies "that's my car." He goes to sleep that night and wakes up because of a bad dream. He goes and tell his mother and she says "you can lay with me." He falls fast asleep then wakes up once more because of falling off the bed he gets back up and gets under the covers. Then he feels the bed moving he looks under the covers to investigate and see's them going at it he then yells "mommy turn on you're headlights daddy's parking his car in you're garage!" *THUD*
