Um

Um Jokes

A dad told his son never to hit girls so the sun repeid i promis. When the sun got older he was doing the dirty with "a girl " and the girl sais spank me daddy.... and the sons repsonds my dad said never to hit a girl. and the "girl" takes of the wig and its his dad and the dad said good job son!.. Son:...... um

Why did Germany win World war two? Wait- thats not right... um... excuse me while i look up who won the war...

*disconnected*

Hi um okay...Knock! Knock! whoes there? Doris! Doris who? Doris look I need the key! Um...oh here another one! Okay...so sorry I type random things on these joke sites...anyway...okay. What is a book never written: Beutiful sites of the corel rife written by the ocean!

Why were parts of the soviet union that had more industry than agriculture occupied during WW2? They couldn't beet the Nazis. bud um ching

Gwen: Hi sir how are you? Tj: Good... you? Gwen: I am super duper good! And where is your date It seems like you need one 😉! Tj: 😏. Gwen: Here this is your guest hall pass...you may...come in my friend! Tj: Thanks but um don't you think you should be um getting in side too? Gwen: 🙁. No thanks sir but I have to work...I am the staff so bye! 😁. Tj: NO!!!!!!

1 day later. Gwen: 🤕🤕🤕🤕🤕🤕🤰🤰🤰👩‍👧‍👦

What do u call the most fucking racist and obnoxious country in the fucking entire fucking omniverse? NORTH AMERICA AND IF U DISAGREE JUST CUS UR AMERICAN I DON'T GIVE A FUCK U LOW LIFE CUNTS, plus if u don't think ur racist um hello people? Motherfucking George Floyd

W-what does, I mean uh, what is, um-, wh-what’s the difference, no... I mean- I mean what do you call a, um... sorry guys, i-i can’t do this😥🥺 *runs away in tears*

Bully (😏): Name 3 things you don't have.

Orphan named Kaiel (😔) : Um...a dog...a doll...and a credit card.

Bully(😡): NO!

Orphan named Kaiel (😟): Sorry, what???

Bully (🤣): Parents. Family. And a home with people you love.

A teacher is teaching a class algebra. Timmy you've worked out it is ak but what is 59 minis 12. Timmy shakes his head not knowing the teacher asks how about ak 49 minus 2? Timmy replies with um... The teacher becomes frustrated and yells What comes after ak Timmy!? The white kid at the back stands shouts 47 and pulls the trigger.

*Me walk into the nail salon* Hi I'm here for my 3:45 appointment *nail tech* ok sweety come and sit down *Me sits down in the chair* *nail tech* you want long nail short nail? Um, long nail. You want boyfriend?!! Yes, ma'am. Ok, let me work magic. ok. *gives me short nail* bro I asked for long nail. But you said bf but u look lesbian* walks out without paying* *nail tech gives money to a customer* there u win. *customer* I told u she would

When you say to your dad ............................... AGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! DAD BE LIKE ....... WHO WANTS MY SON NAN BE LIKE ME KID BE LIKE ........AGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH GIVE ME #### ROUX WHAT ARE ROUX SAYS NAN UM THERE YOUR LIFE SAVINGS NAN BE LIKE LETS GET SOME ROUX