my best friend got ligma (ah did he, sorry bro) LIGMA BALLS
Hudididada hada dudo Hudididada hada du energy Hudididada hada dudo Hudididada hada ah ah ah ah ah BOP ....energy
what does the Peanut butter baby say "Ah"
"Sanderson, fire a warning shot."
"Uhh sir, this is an M32 rotary grenade launcher."
"Ah potato-potato, just pull the trigger."
ah yes, cremation. My last chance of having a smokin' hot body.
Bf:roses are red violets are blue ur my bf and i luv you
Gf:i luv u too
Bf:but the roses are wilting the violets are dead i heard you were cheating ill knock off ur head
Gf:ah about that
So there I was, having a fantastic time going down on my nan When suddenly I got a nasty taste in my mouth.
"Wait a minute" I said. This distinctly tastes like horse semen
Then it clicked. "Ah, so that's how you died"
Sir, I mustache you a question... Ah, never mind, I'll just shave it for later.
Three dead bodies are delivered to the mortuary one day. Each of them has a great big smile on their face.
The coroner examines the bodies and then calls the police to tell them what has happened.
"First body: Frenchman, 60, died of heart failure while making love to his mistress. Hence the enormous smile, Inspector", says the coroner.
"Second body: Scotsman, 25, won a thousand pounds on the lottery, spent it all on whisky. Died of alcohol poisoning, hence the smile."
The inspector then asks, "What about the third body?"
"Ah," says the coroner, "This is the most unusual one. Billy-Bob the redneck from Oklahoma, 30, struck by lightning."
"Why is he smiling then?" asks the inspector.
"He thought he was having his picture taken."
(A man is walking on a bridge and sees a lady over the railing)
Man: Ah.. suicidal eh? Are you gonna jump? Lady: Yep. I hate this world. Man: Well, if your gonna die, can we have sex before you jump? Lady: Hell no! You creep! Man: Ok, fine. I guess I'll just wait until your corpse washes onto the shore..
My favorite species is a cheetah because
ima cheet-ah on the test.
Do you need an ark? Because I No-ah guy!
Guy 1: "Tell me a bad pun." Guy 2: "Alright. What's the difference between a tuna fish, a piano, and a tube of glue?" Guy 1: "Ok, that last one was random as heck. What is the difference?" Guy 2: "You can tuna a piano, but you can't piano a tuna." Guy 1: "Ok, where does the glue come in?" Guy 2: "Ah, I knew you'd get stuck on that."
After a lord comes back from vacation, he meets the gardener at the gates of his park. Lord: Has something happened while I was gone? Gardener: Ah, nothing much, I just broke a shovel while I was burrying your dog. Lord: My dog died?! Gardener: Yes, it choked on the smoke when your mansion burnt down. Lord: My mansion?! How?! Gardener: Well, your wife was distraught and dropped a candle on the curtains. Lord: Why was she so distraught? Gardener: She received the news of your daughter being kidnapped. Lord: My daughter! Don't you have any positive news for me?! Gardener: Oh right! Your cancer test results!
An American, a Cuban, a Russian, and a lawyer are sitting on a subway train, in the same seat. The Cuban pulls out a Cuban cigar for each person, and hands it out. The Cuban takes one puff of his cigar, and he throws it out the window. Everybody but the Cuban goes mad. ̈You just wasted an expensive Cuban cigar! How could you? ̈ The Cuban simply says, ̈See, in Cuba, cigars are very cheap. ̈ The other passengers are reassured and respond with, ̈Oh, OK. ̈
The Russian takes out a small bottle of Russian vodka and pours a shot for all the passengers. The Russian downs his shot, and throws the vodka bottle out the window. The rest of the passengers are alarmed, once again. ̈You just destroyed an expensive bottle of Russian vodka! How could you? ̈ The Russian simply states, ̈See, in Russia, vodka is very cheap. ̈ Yet again, the other passengers are reassured and respond with, ̈Ah, yes! Of course. ̈
The American scratches his head and goes, ̈I think I see the pattern here. ̈ So he takes the lawyer, and he throws him out the window! ̈
Interviewer: Hey Jfk, what’s your favorite song by Jessie J? Jfk: I er ah Bang Bang
I got kicked outta the poker game They said i was a little*cheet-ah*
why can't you play with a cheetah?
Because they are cheat-ahs
What did the hematologist say when his Canadian patient wrote that he's blood type "eh"? "Ah, probably just go with blood typo"
Wanna hear a pizza joke? Ah, never mind, it's too cheesy.