Ur the bus driver, the busy driver picks up twenty kids, drops two, picks up eighty. Drops seven picks up a women with green eyes, drops off a man with blue, kicks a kid in the face, and burried his mother. Who’s the bus driver You will never nose
Two rabbits were racing. Neither could get a-head, so they ended in a hare-tie!
Two pencils walking down the street.
Which one hasn’t got AIDS?
The one with the rubber on
What do you call a knight that has one a arm? A first battle night. What do you call a knight that lost both arms? A two battle useless knight
what do you call a pig with two legs.....................Meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhhahahaa
What do you call two micahael j fox's standing next to eachother?
Parallel Parkinson's
Two mates walk into a bar Mate 1 : Shit! look at that spider over there Mate 2 : Whateverrrrrrr Mate 1 : No, seriously it's bloody massive Mate 2 : (Turns around) Shit thats huge, I thought you were Joking Mate 1 : No I'm Fred King, Jo King's brother ;-)
Why did the bike fall over?
Because it was two tired!!!
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
My daughter came home from school later then usual I was panicking then at 5:30pm she arrived not walking but in a bus 🚌 I asked where the hell did this bus come from! She said the garage in the alleyway mama I bought it for five gummies and eight buttons you like her she is called belle bus. My face was just:😑 how did u get the bus here she reply’s with a whisper I drove her through five gardens a house and two police cars! 🙃 so that explains why you have handcuffs on “yeah!”
Me: I been up all night, no sleep—
The lie detector I didn’t know I had: lie.
Me: stfu! I’m just singing!
Lie detector: you literally listen to music all the time... you almost don’t even sleep!
Me: THEN WHY THE FUCK DID TOU SAY IT’S A LIE, WHEN I SAID I DIDN’T SLEEP?!
lie detector: it’s 3:00 AM in 8 minutes, you usually close your eyes to sleep when it’s 5:00 AM....... You get waken up at 7:00 AM...... you only sleep two hours......
two tomatoes are walking on a road then car runs over one of them and the other says: hi ketchup :D
What’s red,slimy,and makes my wife scream? Two failed abortions!
What kind of pizzas did they last order at the World Trade Center? Two large planes!
What do you call two Mexicans playing 1v1 basketball???
One on one!! Just think about it. It makes sense
Why couldn't the bicycle stand? It was two-tired...
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
What has two legs, two arms, one dead and covered in red? My ex wife.
Which two football teams played in the pirate Superbowl?
The Seahawks and the Buccaneers.
dad: hey son do you like Christmas? 12 year old me: yeah! dad: well how would you feel about two me: what?
