Two jokes
Most annoying thing...
When we send something in WhatsApp thinking our friend is online but can only see two grey ticks...
Two deer walk out of a gay bar. One says to the other, "I blew like 20 bucks in there!"
Roses are red, Violets are blue, Two gay lovers find out they are brothers.
Orgasm means two things:
1. During you masturbate.
2. You torture phantoms.
How do two emo kids greet each other?
"I like ya cut, G."
The FitnessGramTM Pacer Test is a multistage aerobic capacity test that progressively gets more difficult as it continues. The 20-meter pacer test will begin in 30 seconds. Line up at the start. The running speed starts slowly but gets faster each minute after you hear this signal. A single lap should be completed each time you hear this sound. Remember to run in a straight line, and run as long as possible. The second time you fail to complete a lap before the sound, your test is over. The test will begin on the word start. On your mark, get ready, start.
Level 1 Feel it One Two Three Four Five Six Seven; end of level one.
A telescope has two uses:
1. To look in space. 2. To see your hairline.
Little Johnny was overheard by his mother reciting his homework, “Two plus two, the son of a b*tch is four; four plus four, the son of a b*tch is eight; eight plus eight, the son of a b*tch...;” “Johnny!” shouted his mother. “Stop swearing!” “But mom!” Little Johnny protested, “That’s what the teacher taught us! And she said we should recite it till we learned it!”
The next day his mother went to the teacher to complain. “No, no,” said the teacher, terrified. “That’s not what I taught them. They’re supposed to say: ‘Two plus two, the sum of which is four.’”
Woman: I want a man who is 6 feet and 6 inches.
Man: Is 6 feet and 6 inches one thing or two?
Woman: Two, I want a man who is 6 feet and also is 6 inches.
Man: Shit!
Why did the two balls cross the road?
To get to the penis!
Sorry, too rude?
I threw a boomerang two years ago... I live in constant fear.
I tried having a three-way with two physicists, but they couldn't solve the three-body problem.
Two guys were beating up someone in an alley, so I stepped in to help.
He didn't stand a chance against the three of us.
Yo mama is so fat, it takes two warlocks to summon her.
What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball?
Juan on Juan.
Two old Indian ladies out picking potatoes, one lady stops, staring at this huge potato, turning it round and round.
The other old lady says to her, "What are you doing?" She says, "These potatoes remind me of my husband's nuts."
She says, "Oh my, are they really that big?" She said, "No, they're that dirty. lololol"
Scientists have proven that there are two things in the air that have been known to cause women to get pregnant: their legs.
What are the two hottest cities in the world? Hiroshima and Nagasaki.
There were two snakes slithering along when one snake said to the other snake, "Are we poisonous?" "Idk why?" The other snake responded, "'Cause I just bit my tongue!"
Why did the Columbine High School basketball team lose the big game?
Because they lost their two best shooters...