Two jokes
Someone in the Twin Towers ordered two pizzas, plane?
I've been looking for my ex-girlfriend's killer for the past two years.
But no one would do it.
What goes up and down and needs two people?
A seesaw.
A man walks into a bar and notices a steak hanging from the ceiling. When he asks the bartender about it, the bartender says, "If you can jump up and hit it, drinks are on the house for the night, but if you miss, everyone's drinks are on your tab for the next two hours. Do you want to try?" The man decided not to take the risk. He thought the steaks were too high.
It's amazing how many things rhyme with blue.
Blue, sue, stew, poo, screw, new, boo, do, rue, glue, you, to, too, flew, you, goo, zoo, two, moo, woo, ooh, blew...
Why did Adolf Hitler wish he had two nuts?
Because he only had one.
Two blondes walk into a bar. I thought one of them would have seen it.
One time in the butt. Two times in the butt. Three times in the butt makes a slut hot and wet.
Jack and Jill went up the hill to celebrate their marriage.
Nine months later, they happily had some use for their baby carriage.
Two years later, they went up again, then their daughter had a brother.
But one little secret that no one knew was that Jack and Jill share a mother.
Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants? - In case he got a hole in one.
Two brothers play on the street. One of them finds a condom on the ground. Not knowing what it is, they go to their mum and ask what it is that they found. Mum gets mad and yells to throw that away immediately.
Guys go back to the yard, surprised why their mum got mad for just latex. One of them says: "Why did mum get so angry?" The other: "I have no idea, thankfully we did not tell her that we've eaten the yogurt inside!"
Why is 1 equal to 22?
4 is too busy and one has the 21s to 4!
Why did 1 eat 2?
'Cause he was hungry.
Me traveling back in time to tell Americans there will be a big tsunami on 9/11/2001, and to survive it they have to climb the two tallest buildings in New York.
They say watching child porn will get me 20 years in jail. I prefer to think of it as two 10-year-olds.
If I had a dollar for every gender there is, I'd have two dollars and a lot of counterfeits.
Two men walk into a bar, no clue how they didn't see it.
Two wrongs don't make a right, but what do two Wrights make?
The first airplane.
Can two high-femme lesbians go on a date with each other?
Yes, but it will take them forever to get ready.
Two men ran into a bar. You would have thought after the first one hit it, the second one would have seen it.