Two jokes

What has 4 legs and two gloves?

All five people on my baseball team. ⚾️

Two air vents walked into a bar.

The third one ducted.

Yo, dad is so stupid, he brought the milk after two years, and he said, "Oh, sorry son. I'm going back to the store. Bye."

What do you call an orphan taking a selfie with Batman?

Two family reunions!

How do you ride two bikes at once?

You ride them in tandem!

You can play Jenga in two places now: New York and Miami (Chaplin Towers.) They probably have Jenga tournaments there every year.

I saw an ad that said, "By the time this ad is over, two identities would have been stolen." So, I did what I had to do and skipped the ad! You're welcome to the two people's identities I saved!

Two fish in a bowl. First fish asks, "Haven't I seen you around here before?"

The second fish replies, "F**k me, a talking fish!"

I made a pencil with two erasers. It was pointless.

Two gays are getting ready for Christmas... They are expecting a big package in the mail!

Why are the two friends like the Twin Towers?

They fell apart.

Q: What do you call a blonde with only two brain cells?

A: Pregnant.

Two friends fighting.

Friend 3: "Cut it out, you two!"

Friend 4: "It wouldn't help if they cut it out... Believe me... I've tried..."

Someone in the Twin Towers ordered two pizzas, plane?

Last night I shared a bed with two of my friends because we were in a small hotel. We had strange dreams last night.

My friend on the left dreamed of getting a handjob.

So did my friend on the right.

I had a dream of skiing.

What is the difference between the Twin Towers and the Leaning Tower of Pizza?

One held its balance, the other two fell.

Organise my brother's bucks party and got confused when he asked for a hot 22 year old for I brought him 20 two yr Olds....

Good thing my brother's a little bit different.

The doctor said I had two years to live, so I shot him. The warden gave me 50. Problem solved!

There's two reasons guys will hang themselves from the neck.

One is to escape the worthless masquerade of a life we pretend we have, and the second reason is to whack off.

I tried having a three-way with two physicists, but they couldn't solve the three-body problem.