Two jokes

What is the difference between the Twin Towers and the Leaning Tower of Pizza?

One held its balance, the other two fell.

Two gays are getting ready for Christmas... They are expecting a big package in the mail!

What has 4 legs and two gloves?

All five people on my baseball team. ⚾️

Yo, dad is so stupid, he brought the milk after two years, and he said, "Oh, sorry son. I'm going back to the store. Bye."

Two air vents walked into a bar.

The third one ducted.

What do you call an orphan taking a selfie with Batman?

Two family reunions!

You can play Jenga in two places now: New York and Miami (Chaplin Towers.) They probably have Jenga tournaments there every year.

I saw an ad that said, "By the time this ad is over, two identities would have been stolen." So, I did what I had to do and skipped the ad! You're welcome to the two people's identities I saved!

How do you ride two bikes at once?

You ride them in tandem!

What did the drummer call his twin daughters?

Anna one, Anna two!

This guy goes to the doctor and says, “I think I’m a wigwam, no, I think I’m a teepee, no, I must be a wigwam, no, a teepee.”

The doctor tells him, “I think I understand your problem. You’re two tents.”

I made a pencil with two erasers. It was pointless.

Two fish in a bowl. First fish asks, "Haven't I seen you around here before?"

The second fish replies, "F**k me, a talking fish!"

How much drugs did Charlie Sheen take?

Enough to kill two and a half men.

I went to a restaurant and a waiter took my order. She had two black eyes, so I ordered real slow.

Because obviously she doesn’t listen.

I saw two really tall guys. I walked up and said, "I didn't know we still have the Twin Towers!"

How do you break up two blind guys fighting?

Yell, "My money's on the guy with the knife!"

It takes a lot of trust for two cannibals to gluck gluck each other. You never know when it's goodbye willy.

Organise my brother's bucks party and got confused when he asked for a hot 22 year old for I brought him 20 two yr Olds....

Good thing my brother's a little bit different.

What does Michael Jackson and McDonald's have in common?

They both use 30-year-old meat in between two-year-old buns.