Two old Indian ladies out picking Potato's one ladie stops staring at this huge potato turning it round and round . The other old Ladie sais to her what are you doing she sais these potato's remind me of my ((husbands nuts )) she sais oh my are they really that BIG she said no there that dirty. lololol
What has two legs and is red all over?
Half a cat.
Titanic was sinking.
Passenger: "How far are we from land?"
Captain: "Two miles."
Passenger: "Which direction?"
Captain: "Down."
Two atom soldiers are fighting against an army. One gets shot. He cried out, "I'm hit! I think I've lost an electron!"
"Are you sure?" asks the other.
"I'm positive!"
Ur the bus driver, the busy driver picks up twenty kids, drops two, picks up eighty. Drops seven picks up a women with green eyes, drops off a man with blue, kicks a kid in the face, and burried his mother. Who’s the bus driver You will never nose
I have two heads, four eyes, and six ears, what am I?
Ugly.
When I was young, I got bullied by two kids, and whenever I got hit to the ground, I would get back up and cry. Then I had the courage to fight back, except they didn't get back up.
Two fish were in a tank. One turned to the other and asked: "Hey, how do you drive this thing?"
Brian was shopping at a mall. He hopped onto an escalator. Next to him were two people having an argument. Eventually, one of them pulled out a pocket knife threatening to stab the other. Brian murmured "Well, that escalated quickly..."
A 90 year old man takes a Viagra Strips of naked lies down in a ally way three chicks walks on by a blond a brunette an a red head
The red head sed I'm not letting that go to waste so she strips of an rides him when she's finished The brunette then strips of naked an rides him the blonds now worried because she just got her period the red head sez he's dead don't let it go to waste so she strips of naked an rides him then he wakes up he then send wow two jump starts an a blood transfusion I'm good to go !
The twin towers are like genders, there used to be two of them.
Two baby seals walk into a club.
Two deer walk out of a gay bar. One says to the other, "I blew like 20 bucks in there!"
Q) What was the last pizza delivery to 9/11?
A) Two large planes.
An American mother has 3 children. The first child asked his mum: "Why is my sister called Crazy Horse and my brother Rushing Water?"
Mum: "Because those were the first thing I saw after i gave birth to them. Why are you asking all these questions, two dogs fucking?"
Yo mama like a penny: two-faced, worthless, and in everybody’s pants.
Two people walk down the road one sais to the other mitch we past weight watchers 2 minutes ago he responds jake the noodle shop is just here you been carrying that shit on your head for 14 years
What do you call two Mexicans in a sleeping bag?
A Twix.
A young boy enters a barber shop, and the barber whispers to his customer, "This is the dumbest kid in the world. Watch while I prove it to you."
The barber puts a dollar bill in one hand and two quarters in the other, then calls the boy over and asks, "Which do you want, son?" The boy takes the quarters and leaves.
"What did I tell you?" said the barber. "That kid never learns!"
Later, when the customer leaves, he sees the same young boy coming out of the ice cream parlor.
"Hey, son! May I ask you a question? Why did you take the quarters instead of the dollar bill?"
The boy licked his cone and replied:
"Because the day I take the dollar the game is over!"
What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothing, you haven't told her for twice
