These two cannibals are sitting by the campfire having dinner. One says " I can't stand my mother in law". The other says " so , just eat the potatoes".
So two cats, one English (named "One Two Three Cat") and one French (named Un Deux Trois Cat"), are walking through a forest and come across a river. To have a little fun, they decide to have a race across the river. One Two Three Cat swam across, and when he finished the race, he looked behind him. Un Deux Trois Cat was nowhere to be seen. So One Two Three Cat figured that Un Deux Trois Cat sank.
What do you call a knight that has one a arm? A first battle night. What do you call a knight that lost both arms? A two battle useless knight
Whats 9 divided by 11
Well i know its less than two alright
What instrument do a pair of sheep play, The two-baaaa
two people were on a boat they were a float on WaTeR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
What do you call two bears jerking each other off?
Bipolar
Two men walk into a bar. You’d think at least one of them would have ducked.
Two termites walk into a bar. One asks, "Is the bar tender here?"
What has two wings and a halo?
A Chinese telephone. Wing-wing Halo?
what job do you want if you dont want peoples two since
a catholic priest
I don't usually like to tell 9/11 jokes for two reasons~ they're morally wrong, and they tend to crash and burn.
Roses are red Violets are blue two gay lovers find out they are brothers
When two wheel chairs hit each other is it a fender bender
a man died with an erection. the three nurses in the morgue saw this the first nurse climbs on and rides him. the second nurse dose the same the third hesitates saying "i'm on my period." the others say its ok hes dead so she rides him to. when she's done he sits up and all the nurses ask how hes alive he replies i'm good to go after the two jumpstarts and blood transfusion
two nuns were sitting on a bench, a flasher flashed them and one of the nuns had a stroke ... but the other one was to far away : )
This guy goes to the doctor and says, “I think I’m a wigwam, no, I think I’m a teepee, no, I must be a wigwam, no, a teepee.” The doctor tells him, “I think I understand your problem. You’re two tents.”
are teacher said for two kids to stare at a wall no resson so i said hey wall dat ass flat like a pancake from mcdondles.
Two kids walked into a bar, they were covered with blood. the bartender asked what happened. The youngest said "Well, we we're trying to paint our basement but we threw the babies too hard".
three scientists are doing an experiment, they are trying to find out what happens when you stick a cork in an elephants ass. in the lab they each look at each other and decide that they should hire a monkey to do it. the monkey sticks the cork up the elephant's ass and the scientists wait three weeks.
the monkey pulls out the cork and all three scientists go back and discus what they saw. the first one, standing one mile away, says all he could see was a wave of brown then it all went black, the second, standing two miles away, said the same, the third, who was standing three miles away, said all he could see was the other two get consumed by a massive cloud of brown.
