Try

Try jokes

Parking spot

Well, a boy and a girl are in a bathtub together.

The little boy says, “Hey, you see that? I’m gonna go ask Daddy what it is.” When the little boy asks his dad, he says, “Well, son, that’s your car. You try to park it in a girl’s parking spot.”

As the boy runs back, he see’s the little girl is missing. It had turned out that the little girl was asking her mama what her spot was and she said, “Well, that’s your parking spot. Never ever let a boy put it in.” When she got back, the little boy tried to put the car in, well he did and she ended up breaking his car that day.

Baby

Two kids walked into a bar. They were covered with blood. The bartender asked what happened.

The youngest said, "Well, we were trying to paint our basement, but we threw the babies too hard!"

  • 1
  • Subway

    Subway trying to commemorate 9/11: CRASH INTO SUBWAY THIS SUBTEMBER 11TH TO GET 2 FOOTLONG SUBS FOR ONLY $9.11, THAT'S 2 FOOTLONG SUBS FOR $9.11 AND WATCH THEM FALL... INTO YOUR MOUTH!

    Anal

    Husband: Can we try anal tonight? Wife: Fuck that shit! Husband: That's the spirit!

    Depression

    Hey, how ya doin'?

    Well I'm doin' just fine, I lied, I'm DEAD inside.

    Don't tell me "it's gonna be alright," I've tried, but I can't fight like this.

    Hey how ya doin', I'm tired but I'm trying to fight.

    Memes

    Tree

    What happens when a depressed kid try’s to high-five a tree?

    The tree leaves them hanging.

    Penis

    Once, I tried to say, "P.P. That's funny right there." Instead, I said, you guessed it, "Penis!"

    Ground

    How do you try to shout at someone on the bottom of the ground?

    "Hey, sir! Are you dead?"

    Arrest

    What do you say when you wake up to the police trying to arrest you?

    “C'mon, did ya really think I’d resist arrest?”

    News

    "I have good and bad news," the doctor said to his patient.

    "Give me the good news first," the patient said.

    "Your test results are back," the doctor said, "and you have only two days to live."

    "That's the good news?" the patient exclaimed. "What's the bad news?"

    "I've been trying to reach you for two days."

    Doctor

    A doctor is at a bar one night and notices a young lady at the counter. He approaches her and says, "Hello there miss, pardon my intrusion, but I was curious to know, if someone were to pay you a million dollars to sleep with them, would you?"

    The young lady smiles and says, "That's a lot of money, of course, I would."

    The doctor smiles and says, "That's interesting, but what if someone were to pay you 5 dollars to sleep with them, would you?"

    The young lady says, "What, are you joking? That's no money at all. Of course, I wouldn't. What do you think I am?"

    The Doctor smiles again and says, "We already established what you are, now we're trying to establish a price."

    Truth

    At school, Little Johnny’s classmate tells him that most adults are hiding at least one dark secret, so it’s very easy to blackmail them by saying, “I know the whole truth.”

    Little Johnny decides to go home and try it out. Johnny’s mother greets him at home, and he tells her, “I know the whole truth.” His mother quickly hands him $20 and says, “Just don’t tell your father.”

    Quite pleased, the boy waits for his father to get home from work and greets him with, “I know the whole truth.” The father promptly hands him $40 and says, “Please don’t say a word to your mother.”

    Very pleased, the boy is on his way to school the next day when he sees the mailman at his front door. The boy greets him by saying, “I know the whole truth.” The mailman immediately drops the mail, opens his arms, and says, “Then come give your Daddy a great big hug!”

    Therapist

    My therapist said to try having a different outlook on life.

    I agree. I should have a different outlook on life. Preferably from underground.

    Thriller

    I murdered my friend's brother because he kept saying "HEE HEE" like Michael Jackson when I was trying to have a serious conversation. I just found out he was disabled. That's a THRILLER.

    Emo kid

    Why does every emo kid try to be like Tarzan? So they can swing on the vine.

    Baby

    What's the difference between a dead baby in my trash can and a discarded sex toy?

    ...

    I'm still trying to think of an answer.

    Letter

    Why did the polack try writing a letter with his dick?

    Because he didn't have a pen to write with.

    Pedophile

    What do a turtle and a pedophile have in common?

    They both try to get there before the hair does.