Try jokes
Have you ever tried Ethiopian food?
Because I know they haven't.
Why did the emo kid try [to] high five the tree?
So it can hang him.
My therapist said to try having a different outlook on life.
I agree. I should have a different outlook on life. Preferably from underground.
If you think the guy calling you fat is offensive,
Try salad 🥗.
What's the difference between a dead baby in my trash can and a discarded sex toy?
...
I'm still trying to think of an answer.
Why did the polack try writing a letter with his dick?
Because he didn't have a pen to write with.
Why does every emo kid try to be like Tarzan? So they can swing on the vine.
Did you hear about the emo kid that tried to high-five a tree? It left him hanging.
I have tried coke; it is not my cup of tea.
What do a turtle and a pedophile have in common?
They both try to get there before the hair does.
I tried to catch air once... I mist.
I tried to catch air once... I mist.
I was trying to make friends, and this one person came up to me. They said, "Lettuce be friends?" I just laughed and said that was tear-able.
Child: "Mom, what's an 'orgasm'?"
Mom: "I don't know, dear. Try asking your father."
Why don't lesbians have sex in the morning?
Have you ever tried pulling apart a grilled cheese?
A man was walking down the street when he was accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby-looking homeless man who asked him for a couple of dollars for dinner.
The man took out his wallet, extracted ten dollars and asked, "If I give you this money, will you buy some beer with it instead of dinner?"
"No, I had to stop drinking years ago," the homeless man replied.
"Will you use it to go fishing instead of buying food?" the man asked.
"No, I don't waste time fishing," the homeless man said. "I spend all my time trying to stay alive."
"Will you spend this on green fees at a golf course instead of food?" the man asked.
"Are you NUTS!" replied the homeless man. "I haven't played golf in 20 years!"
"Will you spend the money on a woman in the red light district instead of food?" the man asked.
"What disease would I get for ten lousy bucks?" exclaimed the homeless man.
"Well," said the man, "I'm not going to give you the money. Instead, I'm going to take you home for a terrific dinner cooked by my wife."
The homeless man was astounded. "Won't your wife be furious with you for doing that? I know I'm dirty and I probably smell pretty disgusting."
The man replied, "That's okay. It's important for her to see what a man looks like after he has given up beer, fishing, golf and sex."
Why can’t you take an Asian guy golfing? Because you can’t drive. Every time he does, he tries to put a hole-in-one.
One way to not pick up a girl is to say, “Are you an American school because I wanna shoot kids into you?” I tried it on a girl, and she is now terrified to come near me.
How was I supposed to know she was already pregnant?
Did you see the dyslexic kid try to write down “funeral?”
No? Shame, it was real fun.
Why do orphans try to be arrested? So that they'll be wanted.