Trouble jokes
What do Michael Vick and John Wick have in common?
Got into deep shit when it came to dogs.
Looks like he got stuck in a sticky situation.
What did the penis say to its pee?
"Urine."
What is the difference between an American and a computer?
An American doesn’t have trouble shooting.
A guy went back to his apartment. Five minutes later, he said to the receptionist, "It doesn't fit!" So she gave him a new key.
I hope you have to squeeze the hell out of toothpaste only for the little bit to fall down the sink drain.
Why are orphans lucky?
Because they can get in trouble and nobody can tell their parents.
Why is an orphan's least favorite day field trip day?
Because they can't get a parent's signature.
Three children play hide and seek. Their names are Silence, Anger, and Parent. Anger counts. Parent hides in the trash. Silence is at the police station.
A policeman looks at Silence and asks: "What is your name?" Silence replies: "Silence." Terrified, the policeman asks: "Where are your parents?" Silence then replies: "Parent is in the trash!" The policeman then asks indignantly: "Are you looking for Trouble?" Silence replies: "No, in fact, Anger finds me."
Sometimes, you've got to specifically go out of your way to get into trouble. It's called fun.
I said to my pregnant wife, "Push, darling, come on, push harder, dear!" No, she wasn't giving birth; the bloody car would not start.
My son got in trouble for writing the following underneath the question “Do aliens exist?”
“Of course they do! They live in Mexico!”
Why did Hitler stop playing Golf?
He kept getting stuck in the Bunker.
So dark.
Many jokes about orphans.
God, this is the second worst thing to happen to these orphans!
You: Find a time clock that can change time.
Your friend the next day: Hey, can I borrow yo' house?
You: No, I'm trying to figure out what to do with my TIME!
Also you: Changes the time back to 1267 so you don't have to have that friend again.
Girl: "When we get married, I want to share all your worries, troubles, and lighten your burden."
Boy: "It's very kind of you, darling, but I don't have any worries or troubles."
Girl: "Well, that's because we aren't married yet!"
Why did the cheetah get in trouble at school?
Because he cheated on a test.
Wanna know why Kobe can't shoot?
Because he's dead.
President Joe Biden was jogging through some different jogging paths around this great county we live in and was jogging through Alabama and fell off into a swamp filled with killer alligators, and these 3 boys named Willie, Roman, and Little Johnny saw him fall in and jumped in and drug him to safety, and the president was like "Thank you, thank you, thank you SOOO much. I'm gonna give you boys a reward for saving my life," and asks them what their names were and what they wanted. The first boy said, "My name's Willy, and I want to go to Disneyland," and the president said, "No problem, and I'll take you personally." The 2nd boy said, "My name's Roman, and I want an autographed pair of Air Jordan Nikes," and the president said, "No troubles at all," and the 3rd boy says, "My name's Little Johnny, and I want a power wheelchair with an awesome stereo and killer wheels," and the president says, "You don't look handicapped, Little Johnny," and Little Johnny said, "I'm not, but as soon as I tell my parents who I saved, I will be"🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
I got in big trouble the other day, though it was pretty unfair. Babies kick pregnant women all the time, and yet I got arrested anyways.