Tree jokes
What is the similarity between a sloth and a depressed kid?
They both hang from trees.
Do trees pee?
How else do we have No. 1 pencils?
My entire family "TAKE THIS GIRL TO AN ASYLUM!!!"
Me "OH NO" 💀
What tree is every emo kid trying to find?
The hanging tree.
It's Christmas morning, and all the decorations are done, but the tree looks like it's missing something. *grabs the noose*
What is worse than a baby getting hanged in a tree?
That same baby getting hanged in multiple trees.
Memes
My family is like an apple tree. My sister is that ugly one that has to rot in.
Friend #1: "What's your favourite thing about trees?"
Friend #2: "Apples"
Me: "I can hang myself in them."
What fell down the tree first, the emo or the apple?
Guess what? The apple, because the emo got left hanging.
Question: What happened to the depressed kid who tried to high five a tree?
Answer: He was left hanging.
What do you call a cheap circumcision? A rip off!
What's the difference between an orphan and an apple tree?
Apples get picked.
Why can't depressed kids high five a tree? It will leave them hanging.
Why can't orphans play baseball? Because they can't find home!
A serial killer was at my house and killed all my family but me. Why? I was in the living room.
What do sloths and depressed people have in common? They both hang off trees.
What is a group of depressed kids called? The suicide squad.
What is long that Paul Walker can fit into his mouth? A long black tree.
What do you call a depressed tree?
A wood cutter.
What's worse than 1000 dead babies hanging off a tree?
1 dead baby hanging off 1000 trees.
What's white and can't climb a tree?
A refrigerator.
What do apples and witches have in common? They both hang on trees.
Kobe ended so many games with threes. Now he ends his life with trees.
Son: Mom, can I borrow $50?
Mom: What? NO WAY! Do you think money grows on trees?
Son: Mom, what is money made of?
Mom: Paper.
Son: Where does paper come from?
Mom: . . .
How do trees calculate square roots? They use log-arithms.