Tree jokes
What is the difference between a car and a tree?
A tree cannot drive, but a car can drive.
What falls from the tree first, the autistic retard or the apple?
The apple, because the rope caught the autistic retard.
Trees are just bushes with lift kits.
I like my new... e-a-tree and a tree that is a magic house and a tree tree and a...
My brother told me he wanted to find a golden apple tree in real life. I told him it was a fruitless mission.
Off brand Hollow Knight
Nobody:
The Vietcong when America lands on their beaches:
tReE pOwErS aCtIvAtE!
What's brown and sticky? A stick!
Snover1: You can't pass through Snow Way!
Squirtle: Why can't I pass through Snow Way?
Snover1: There's snow in the way.
Snover2: Yeah, you can't get past through the snow while it's on the way, to continuous.
Squirtle: What? There's snow in here the whole time. What is this? Snow Society?!
"AAAAARRRGGH!!"
Squirtle: Who is that?
Snover2: That is Snow.
Squirtle: What?! That giant snow tree thing is Abomasnow!
Snover2: Oops! Don't be a Halt!
"Haaaaaaaaallllltttt!!!"
"Aaaaaauuuuggghhhh!"
Snovers: That was a JOKE, Squirtle be FROZEN, just let it go, let it go!
"Rock-a-bye baby on the treetop, When the wind blows, the baby will drop. Then the baby will lay on the ground, Not moving a muscle, not making a sound."
Can I pin your corpse to a tree?
Q: Why didn't the Oak tree win the election?
A: He didn't get the votes he was oaking for, because he was not the popular vote.
My parents told me that I should go hang with my friends and get out of the house.
So I called some of my friends and told them to meet me in the school yard. One said, "What tree?"
I replied, "You’ll know when you get here!"
My parents never said how they wanted us to hangout.
What do you call a nut stuck to a wall?
A walnut.
One good thing about lynching during the holidays, free tree ornaments.
What is a kind thing to say to someone and what is a rude thing to say to someone?
Kind thing to say to someone: You are the most perfect you there is. Your outlook on life is amaz- (BLAH, BLAH, BLAH ENOUGH!)
Rudist thing to say too someone: You more uglyer than my mama's boyfriend. You are a son of a b word! Okay that is so much rude and why you can say that to a tree but anyway not the point. Bonus: The world's most weirdest name to say to a girl, is Nutter butter, we know that's a weird *and* stupid name because she is not nutter or butter she is a person not a thing! Oh well bye!!!!
Why did the orange fall off the tree? Because he went out on a limb.
What's the similarity between an emotional and a leaf?
The emo is still hanging.
What's the difference between Vikkstar and a tree?
Nothing. They're both hollow on the inside and brown on the outside.
An e-girl went to go high five a tree, but the tree left her hanging.
Once a monkey lived in a jamun tree. His friend, a crocodile, came there to eat jamun everyday. The second day, he ate some jamun and left some for his wife. Soon, his wife said, "Why don't you kill this monkey?"
The crocodile was sad and then asked the monkey to come to his place. The monkey said, "What if I drown?" The crocodile said, "Jump on my back." The monkey jumped on his back. The crocodile soon said, "I am gonna kill you. My wife is sick and wants to eat your heart." The monkey said, "I left my heart on the jamun tree." Then the crocodile swam back to the jamun tree and the monkey jumped on the tree.