Tree

Tree jokes

Sloth

What is the similarity between a sloth and a depressed kid?

They both hang from trees.

Pencil

Do trees pee?

How else do we have No. 1 pencils?

My entire family "TAKE THIS GIRL TO AN ASYLUM!!!"

Me "OH NO" 💀

Sister

My family is like an apple tree. My sister is that ugly one that has to rot in.

Friend

Friend #1: "What's your favourite thing about trees?"

Friend #2: "Apples"

Me: "I can hang myself in them."

Emo

What fell down the tree first, the emo or the apple?

Guess what? The apple, because the emo got left hanging.

Baby

What is worse than a baby getting hanged in a tree?

That same baby getting hanged in multiple trees.

Noose

It's Christmas morning, and all the decorations are done, but the tree looks like it's missing something. *grabs the noose*

Depression

Question: What happened to the depressed kid who tried to high five a tree?

Answer: He was left hanging.

Orphan

What's the difference between an orphan and an apple tree?

Apples get picked.

Kid

Why can't depressed kids high five a tree? It will leave them hanging.

Why can't orphans play baseball? Because they can't find home!

A serial killer was at my house and killed all my family but me. Why? I was in the living room.

What do sloths and depressed people have in common? They both hang off trees.

What is a group of depressed kids called? The suicide squad.

Baby

What's worse than 1000 dead babies hanging off a tree?

1 dead baby hanging off 1000 trees.

Kobe

Kobe ended so many games with threes. Now he ends his life with trees.

Witch

What do apples and witches have in common? They both hang on trees.

Money

Son: Mom, can I borrow $50?

Mom: What? NO WAY! Do you think money grows on trees?

Son: Mom, what is money made of?

Mom: Paper.

Son: Where does paper come from?

Mom: . . .

Priest

What do a priest and a Christmas tree have in common? They both like fairies sitting on them.

Mouth

What is long that Paul Walker can fit into his mouth? A long black tree.