My family is like an apple tree. My sister is that ugly one that has to rot in.
What fell down the tree first, the emo or the apple?
Guess what? The apple, because the emo got left hanging.
It's Christmas morning, and all the decorations are done, but the tree looks like it's missing something. *grabs the noose*
Friend #1: "What's your favourite thing about trees?"
Friend #2: "Apples"
Me: "I can hang myself in them."
Question: What happened to the depressed kid who tried to high five a tree?
Answer: He was left hanging.
What is worse than a baby getting hanged in a tree?
That same baby getting hanged in multiple trees.
What do you call a cheap circumcision? A rip off!
One good thing about lynching during the holidays, free tree ornaments.
Do trees pee?
How else do we have No. 1 pencils?
My entire family "TAKE THIS GIRL TO AN ASYLUM!!!"
Me "OH NO" 💀
Why do Emos love Christmas? So they can pretend they're ornaments and hang themselves on trees. Hope you liked it, happy holidays!
What tree is every emo kid trying to find?
The hanging tree.
What's the difference between an orphan and an apple tree?
Apples get picked.
Why can't depressed kids high five a tree? It will leave them hanging.
Why can't orphans play baseball? Because they can't find home!
A serial killer was at my house and killed all my family but me. Why? I was in the living room.
What do sloths and depressed people have in common? They both hang off trees.
What is a group of depressed kids called? The suicide squad.
What do you call a depressed tree?
A wood cutter.
What's worse than 1000 dead babies hanging off a tree?
1 dead baby hanging off 1000 trees.
What's white and can't climb a tree?
A refrigerator.
Kobe ended so many games with threes. Now he ends his life with trees.
What do apples and witches have in common? They both hang on trees.
Son: Mom, can I borrow $50?
Mom: What? NO WAY! Do you think money grows on trees?
Son: Mom, what is money made of?
Mom: Paper.
Son: Where does paper come from?
Mom: . . .
What do a priest and a Christmas tree have in common? They both like fairies sitting on them.
