Travel jokes
Give a man a plane ticket and he will fly for a day.
Push a man out of a plane and he will fly for the rest of his life.
What do bees do when they get married?
They go on a honeymoon.
Why was I angry on my plane? Because I read these stupid 9/11 jokes.
When my dad once went to the Virgin Islands, now it's just called the Islands.
A 60-year-old man is walking along a deserted road with a 12-year-old boy. It’s getting dark, and the boy says, “Hey mister, it’s getting dark and I’m scared.”
The man replies, “You’re scared? I’ve got to walk back to town alone!”
Son: Hey dad, why is my name Canada?
Dad: Because you were made there.
Mum: We haven't been to Canada.
Dad: Hol' up a minute.
Daughter: Where was I born?
Dad: Alabama.
Daughter: That is nice.
Mum: We have never been to Alabama.
Dad: RUN!
Scientist time travels into the year 2024.
Scientist: So, what happened with the storming of Area 51?
Pedestrian: Oh, you mean The 51 Massacre?
My dick hard.
How did Sally get a free trip to Hawaii? She washed up on shore.
I tried to sue the airline for losing my luggage.
I lost my case.
My son always said he wanted to skydive, so we went on a plane, and mid-flight, we had to jump out. The only issue is we were on a commercial flight to Arizona.
Three women—a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead—are riding through the desert on a dune buggy. About two hours later, their vehicle dies with no gas, and they're forced to travel to their destination on foot, but they all agree to carry something with them.
The brunette brings canteens of water.
The redhead takes a large beach umbrella.
The blonde somehow rips off the car door.
The redhead asks her, "Why did you take the whole car door?"
To which the blonde replied, "So I can roll down the window in case it gets too hot."
- Why is that flight waiting at 30,000 feet height?
- One tire became flat. They are changing it in the middle of the journey.
Why did the Indian cross the road?
To get to the curry shop.
Why didn’t the toilet paper cross the road?
Because it got stuck in a crack! 🤣😂🤣
Every single person on the plane died except for 2. How is that possible?
It said all the single people died; the 2 were a couple. That's how it was possible.
China is a place. I once went to Buckingham Palace.
A lady from the city and her traveling companion were riding the train through Vermont when she noticed some cows. "What a cute bunch of cows!" she remarked.
"Not a bunch, a herd," her friend replied.
"Heard of what?"
"Herd of cows."
"Of course I've heard of cows."
"No, a cow herd."
"What do I care what a cow heard? I have no secrets to keep from a cow!"
Guess how I got away from my mom saying I can't play Fortnite? I took my stuff and I ran to Iran.