My son always said he wanted to skydive, so we went on a plane, and mid-flight, we had to jump out. The only issue is we were on a commercial flight to Arizona.
Three women—a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead—are riding through the desert on a dune buggy. About two hours later, their vehicle dies with no gas, and they're forced to travel to their destination on foot, but they all agree to carry something with them.
The brunette brings canteens of water.
The redhead takes a large beach umbrella.
The blonde somehow rips off the car door.
The redhead asks her, "Why did you take the whole car door?"
To which the blonde replied, "So I can roll down the window in case it gets too hot."
- Why is that flight waiting at 30,000 feet height?
- One tire became flat. They are changing it in the middle of the journey.
Why did the Indian cross the road?
To get to the curry shop.
Why didn’t the toilet paper cross the road?
Because it got stuck in a crack! 🤣😂🤣
Every single person on the plane died except for 2. How is that possible?
It said all the single people died; the 2 were a couple. That's how it was possible.
China is a place. I once went to Buckingham Palace.
A lady from the city and her traveling companion were riding the train through Vermont when she noticed some cows. "What a cute bunch of cows!" she remarked.
"Not a bunch, a herd," her friend replied.
"Heard of what?"
"Herd of cows."
"Of course I've heard of cows."
"No, a cow herd."
"What do I care what a cow heard? I have no secrets to keep from a cow!"
Guess how I got away from my mom saying I can't play Fortnite? I took my stuff and I ran to Iran.
How did Stephen Hawking die?
He traveled too far from the outlet.
How did I get to Iraq? I ran.
Two tourists climb a mountain that utters certain doom.
One tourist falls down. The tourist that's still on the mountain says, "You ok down there?"
The other tourist says, "Can't I just rest in peace?!"
None of these jokes really took off.
Me: Opens the window to get some fresh air.
Everyone else on the plane: 😟...😱
Why can’t you run in a campground?
Because it’s past tents.
Three men were in a desert. One man was holding a jug, the 2nd was holding a paper bag, and the last was holding a car door. A man came around and asked the 1st why he had a jug. He said it was his water and if he got thirsty, he would take a drink.
Then he asked the second why do you have a paper bag? The guy said this is my packed lunch, so if I get hungry, I will eat my lunch.
Then he asked the last man why he has a car door and he said if he got hot he would roll down the window.
What is the most dangerous mountain? Kilimanjaro.
What do you get when you cross the Atlantic with the Titanic? About half way.
What do you call a passport for Mandalorians?
A Pre Visa!
My dad said he'd be back later after he walked out the door with a suitcase.
Who takes a suitcase to the grocery store? Silly daddy!
