Transportation

Transportation Jokes

Hate

I'm not saying I hate you, but if you got hit by a bus, I'd be driving that bus.

Baby

What goes 100mph and bounces up and down? A baby tied to the back of a truck.

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  • Man

    Did you hear about the man who ran in front of the bus? He got tired.

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  • Lobster

    What's the difference between a dirty bus stop and a lobster with boobs?

    One is a crusty bus station and the other is a busty crustacean.

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  • Baby

    How did the dead baby cross the road?

    It was strapped to the chicken.

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  • Fish

    What's the difference between a bus full of children and a fish?

    The fish can swim.

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  • Death

    When I die, I want to go peacefully in my sleep like my grandpa did, not screaming and shouting like his passengers.

    School Bus

    What's the difference between a school bus and my Dad's van?

    School buses usually don't have screaming and crying children.

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  • Baby

    A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: “That’s the ugliest baby that I’ve ever seen! Ugh!”

    The woman goes to the rear of the bus and angrily sits down. She says to a man next to her “The driver just insulted me!”

    The man says: “You go right up there and tell him off! Go ahead, I’ll hold your monkey for you.”

    Baby

    A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "That’s the ugliest baby that I’ve ever seen. Ugh!" The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: "The driver just insulted me!" The man says: "You go right up there and tell him off – go ahead, I’ll hold your monkey for you."

    Midget

    I asked my midget neighbor if he wanted a lift. He told me to "Fuck off!!!" I thought, what a cheeky cunt and zipped my backpack up and walked away.

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  • Teacher

    What's the difference between a teacher and a train?

    The teacher says, "Spit out your gum," but a train says, "Chew chew!"

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