How did the dead baby cross the road?
It was strapped to the chicken.
What did the car say when it crashed? That's wheely unfortunate!
What's the definition of total chaos?
A bus load of retards passing a magnet factory.
Why did the chicken cross the road? Who gives a shit? I wanna know how it got the car started!
I saw a bicycler flip over a gutter. It was pretty grate.
Two persons were in a car. The brakes were broken and they were going so fast that they would crash and die.
The driver said: "Oh no! We will die!" but the person sitting next to him replied: "Don't panic, the stop sign at the end of the road will stop us."
Why can't Cleopatra ride a bicycle?
Because she's dead.
- Mommy, I want a bicycle!
- Shut up, Sam! You've already got your wheelchair!
How did a man kill his car? He throttled it.
What is the same with a duck and a bicycle? The handlebars--oh, except for the duck.
What do a bike and a rubber duck have in common? They both have a handlebar, except for the duck.
My boss yelled at me the other day, “You’ve got to be the worst train driver in history. How many trains did you derail last year?”
I said, “Can’t say for sure, it’s so hard to keep track!”
Why couldn't the chicken cross the road?
Because it was disabled.
What type of pizza do they serve on an airplane?
Plane pizza.
A pirate walked into a pub with a ship wheel attached to his balls. The bartender says, "What the hell is that?"
The pirate said, "I don't know but it's driving me nuts!"
What part of the train goes "toot toot"?
The caboose.
Why do y’all call a pickup truck?
'Cause ya got a flat tire.
Why can't the toilet paper cross the road? Because it got stuck in a crack!
What is the difference between 100 dead babies and a Mustang Challenger?
I don't have a Mustang Challenger in my garage.
The Titanic was going through the ocean. Chuck Norris was on the ship, and they never crashed into an iceberg. He just shat off the front of the ship!
