Transportation jokes

Yeah, so why can't a blind woman drive?

Exactly, cuz she's a woman.

What takes 10 parking spaces? Five women.

Why did the kid cross the road?

He wasn't wearing his seatbelt.

When your mum went to the UK and wore a yellow jacket, everyone started yelling "Taxi! Taxi!"

Yo momma's teeth so yellow, when she smiled at traffic, all the cars slowed down.

What do you call a special needs kid with a motorcycle?

Motor disease.

Your mama so fat, she caused a traffic jam just by crossing the street.

Are you a school bus? Because I want to fill you with kids.

Today sucked. My girlfriend got hit by a car, and I lost my job as an Uber driver.

Quit making plane jokes. They're just plane wrong.

I yo yo-yo yo-yo yo-yo, yo-yo yo-yo you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you ha! Frick, fuck, gosh dang, you’re so big that you can’t ride. This is Builder.

A Muslim enters a building with 100 passengers and an airplane.

I heard there was a kidnapping.

Don't worry, he woke up in the back of a van.

It was his father's friend who was a priest.

He was just bringing him to church.

What's big and yellow...?

A bus full of kids.

Why can't 12 boys go down the elevator? Because they have nothing to press the buttons.

Want to know how to fit 71 people in a car? Two in the front while we handle 69 in the back.

You live in the airport.

I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather did. Not screaming in terror like the passengers in his car.

What's the difference between my car and a school bus? A school bus takes them back home.

Last week I went on a whale watch.

After everyone had piled onto a boat, they loaded the boat onto a trailer and drove to your house.