Transportation jokes
Today sucked. My girlfriend got hit by a car, and I lost my job as an Uber driver.
Quit making plane jokes. They're just plane wrong.
I yo yo-yo yo-yo yo-yo, yo-yo yo-yo you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you ha! Frick, fuck, gosh dang, you’re so big that you can’t ride. This is Builder.
A Muslim enters a building with 100 passengers and an airplane.
I heard there was a kidnapping.
Don't worry, he woke up in the back of a van.
It was his father's friend who was a priest.
He was just bringing him to church.
What's big and yellow...?
A bus full of kids.
Why can't 12 boys go down the elevator? Because they have nothing to press the buttons.
Want to know how to fit 71 people in a car? Two in the front while we handle 69 in the back.
You live in the airport.
I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather did. Not screaming in terror like the passengers in his car.
What's the difference between my car and a school bus? A school bus takes them back home.
Last week I went on a whale watch.
After everyone had piled onto a boat, they loaded the boat onto a trailer and drove to your house.
Mom: Please eat, baby!
Baby: No!
Mom: Here comes the airplane!
I braced myself when I got in the car, but then I realized my wife wasn't driving.
How does a train sneeze?
It goes, "A-choo choo!"
Teacher on school bus, "Everybody sit down now, the bus is about to start."
Ben: "I’m not going to sit down. I don’t want to."
Teacher: "You have to, or else you have to get off the bus."
Teacher: "*stands up*"
Ben: "Then you should get off the bus 'cause you're not sitting."
What happens when a frog's car breaks down?
It gets toad away!
Man: Aw man, I'm having a bad day.
Man's friend: Same.
Man: So why did you have a bad day? My brother got hit by the school bus.
Man's friend: I got fired as a bus driver.
Man: Oh great heavens!
Where can't orphans park?
Parent child.
Why did the Twin Towers go to Uber Eats?
Because they wanted something plain.