Last week I went on a whale watch.
After everyone had piled onto a boat, they loaded the boat onto a trailer and drove to your house.
Transportation Jokes
Mom: Please eat, baby!
Baby: No!
Mom: Here comes the airplane!
I braced myself when I got in the car, but then I realized my wife wasn't driving.
How does a train sneeze?
It goes, "A-choo choo!"
Teacher on school bus, "Everybody sit down now, the bus is about to start."
Ben: "I’m not going to sit down. I don’t want to."
Teacher: "You have to, or else you have to get off the bus."
Teacher: "*stands up*"
Ben: "Then you should get off the bus 'cause you're not sitting."
What happens when a frog's car breaks down?
It gets toad away!
Man: Aw man, I'm having a bad day.
Man's friend: Same.
Man: So why did you have a bad day? My brother got hit by the school bus.
Man's friend: I got fired as a bus driver.
Man: Oh great heavens!
Where can't orphans park?
Parent child.
Why did the Twin Towers go to Uber Eats?
Because they wanted something plain.
Were you born on the highway? That is where most accidents happen.
One day, I was just chillin', being a tower. I saw a plane, but it was slowly growing.
Then it hit me.
What do you call a batter in a hot air balloon?
Your mama is so fat that when she went to run in a yellow jumpsuit, the kids thought they missed the school bus.
What do you call a wheelchair on fire?..
Hot Wheels.
When you are being spoon-fed and your mum says, "Here comes the airplane."
Once I was riding my bike and saw a $5. I jumped off and died.
One day, the Pope is coming to America in his limo, and he said to the driver, "Why don’t you let me drive for once?"
The driver thinks to himself, "Well, I can’t say no to this guy; he’s the Pope." So the driver pulls over, and they change places. The Pope was having fun, hauling butt down the freeway, dogging cars. After a while, the driver taps on the window and tells the Pope, "Slow down a bit; you might get pulled over."
The Pope says, "Ahhh, don’t worry about it; I’m the Pope." So he rolls up the window and continues to drive very fast. After a few moments, he gets pulled over. The cop walks to the car, and the Pope rolls down the tinted window. The cop sees the Pope and says, "Oh, I, ehhh, sorry, can you hold on a minute?"
The Pope says, "Sure." The cop walks back to his car and radios back to the station. He says, "Guys, I just pulled over someone really important."
They ask who, "The President?"
"No, more important."
"The president of another country?"
"No, more important."
"An ambassador?"
"No, even more important."
"Well, who is it?"
"I don’t know, but the Pope is the chauffeur."
I'll never forget my grandpa's last words:
"You need to park a little closer."
What can an elevator do that an orphan’s parents can’t?
The elevator can raise a family.
Uber driver: .........
Me: .........
Uber driver: .........
Me: 5 stars.
