Wanna hear a plane joke? Nah, it'll just go over your head.
How does a turkey drive a car? He wings it.
What do you call an all-you-can-eat buffet for a pedophile? A school bus.
What's long, black and full of seamen? A submarine.
Why did Paul Walker drown?
Because he was too busy carpooling.
What was the one word that could have saved Princess Diana's life?
Taxi.
What goes 100mph and bounces up and down? A baby tied to the back of a truck.
A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The driver says: "Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!" The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to the man next to her: "The driver just insulted me!" The man says: "You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you."
I'm not saying I hate you, but if you got hit by a bus, I'd be driving that bus.
What do women and airplanes have in common?
A cockpit.
Why did Timmy drop his ice cream? He got hit by a bus.
1950: In the future there will be flying cars
2018: Pewdiepie shuts down Shane Dawson
I like my woman like I like my coffee: in a big sack on top of a donkey.
What's the difference between a school bus and my Dad's van?
School buses usually don't have screaming and crying children.
There was an air crash of a Boeing 737-800 which can carry around 300 passengers.
It crashed in a cemetery.
They recovered 500 bodies.
Three drunk men get in a taxi. The driver knew they were drunk, so he started the car and turned it off. The first man gave him the money. The second man thanked him, but the third man slapped the driver. The driver, surprised that he noticed, asked why, and the third man replied with, "Why did you drive so fast?"
The first trains were often derailed. They had a bad track record.
Did you hear about the man who ran in front of the bus? He got tired.
What's yellow and can't swim?
A bus full of children.
Ur the bus driver, the busy driver picks up twenty kids, drops two, picks up eighty. Drops seven picks up a women with green eyes, drops off a man with blue, kicks a kid in the face, and burried his mother. Who’s the bus driver You will never nose
