Tragedy jokes
Why didn't the child go to school?
Because he died of a heroin overdose.
Tons of people committed suicide on 9/11 by destroying government property.
Not to mention and by plane.
What's the last thing to go through the minds of 9/11 victims?
Their kneecaps.
Did you hear about the baby with cancer? It never gets old.
Stop with the 9/11 jokes.
They're not gonna fly.
Why are 9/11 victims the fastest readers in the world?
Because they went through 90 stories in just 10 seconds!
Stop with the 9/11 jokes, people. They're just not gonna fly.
I'd make a 9/11 joke, but they always crash and burn.
What do you call an autistic kid in a school shooting?
Target practice.
Kobe likes his shoes like the way he died.
Air.
What is the difference between a cow and 9/11?
You can’t milk a cow for 15 years.
When your baby is stillborn and you have a funeral, what song should you never play?
Alphaville - "Forever Young."
How do you knock out 26 kids in one punch?
Give them a Sandy Hook.
What do you call a 5th grader with no friends?
Sandy Hook survivor.
My mother-in-law would have been on one of the planes that crashed on 9/11.
Had I known in advance, I would have bought her the ticket.
I would tell a 9/11 joke, but it would probably go up in flames.
What do Drew Bledsoe and the Twin Towers have in common?
They both got taken out by two jets.
My friend's dad died during 9/11. He was such a good pilot, but my friend kept disturbing him, so when his dad died, he said, "It was you who killed me" (to the child).
So the child said, "Yoo-hoo? What type of name is Yoo-hoo, but Yoo-hoo, Yoo-hoo come here, I need to kill you NOW."
Me traveling back in time to tell Americans there will be a big tsunami on 9/11/2001, and to survive it they have to climb the two tallest buildings in New York.
I feel bad for the kids at Sandy Hook. All they wanted was books, but got magazines instead.