Traffic jokes
Say "traffic," and replace "r" with "h." It sounds like... that thicc.
Brother 2: We have these weird circles on the street! Government is tracking us!!!
Brother 1: They are just to sense cars so they can change lights. And it's the government.
Brother 2: Then why are there two in the left turn lane?
Brother 1: So one car isn't always going left and stopping the others.
Brother 2: Then why are they one car apart? Oh, to have three people going.
Brother 1: Correct. When I see one car on the first, I go on the second so my light changes.
Brother 2: You monster.
Brother 1: I wonder if they trigger by weight?
Brother 2: HA. Yo mama would trigger the sensor.
Brother 1: ARG. It's OUR MAMA you're disrespecting.
Mother (brother 1): What's going on boys? *looks in mirror* HOLY SH@& SHE IS PRETTY!
Brother 2: I think you should take your pills.
Brother 1: Found them.
*imaginary mother and brother fade away*
Thank you ELECTROBOOM for inspiring this joke/sh!t. Go subb to him.
Btw the (1) means it is just imaginary brother one acting like another brother.
Are you a red light? Because I stop every time I see you.
It’s disappointing that Los Angeles doesn’t offer better transportation, especially since my neighbor offers free mustache rides every night.
Mother Nature deserves a traffic ticket.
Summer is speeding by way too fast. 🤣🤣🤣
It’s been a terrible day today. My ex got hit by a bus and died.
Not only this, but the council cut my bus driver's permit!
You were born on the highway. That's where most accidents happen.
What's the difference between a road bump and children crossing the road?
A road bump will make you slow down when you drive over it.
Why did the T-Rex 🦖 get a ticket?
He ran at a stomp light!
A cop pulls over an old man.
The cop walks up to the old man and says, "Do you know why I pulled you over?"
The old man said, "No."
What did the traffic light 🚦 say? Oh.
What did the traffic light 🚦 say to the car 🚗? Don’t look, I’m about to change!
All the traffic stopping the cars, how do you spell that without any R’s?
That.
Why were Helen Keller's hands crippled?
From reading stop signs at fifty miles per hour.
Why can't Helen Keller drive?
Because she's a woman? No, seriously, why can't she drive? Because she's dead.
Why was the giraffe late to work?
Because it got caught in a giraffic jam.
Yo mama so fat that when she crossed the road, people mistook her for a roundabout.
The colors red, white, and blue are the colors of freedom. Until they are flashing behind you.
You're walking on the street when you realize that you're in the road as you feel the horn dying away.
Q: Why did Sally drop her ice cream?
A: She got hit by a bus.