Traffic jokes
What happens when a strawberry gets run over crossing the street? Traffic jam.
Why did the Emo Chicken cross the road?
To get hit by a car.
Don’t you hate it when you are driving in a school zone and the speed bump starts screaming?
Kids make a lot of plans for people who can't drive anywhere.
I had to stop drinking because I got tired of waking up in my car, driving 90.
Why did the fat rape victim cross the road?
To block traffic.
I drove through a school zone and found out you can drag a speed bump 😬.
You know that if it says, "Adopt a Highway" and no one does, we're driving on orphans.
I was sitting in traffic the other day.
Probably why I got run over.
Why did the kid cross the road?
He wasn't wearing his seatbelt.
Your mama so fat, she caused a traffic jam just by crossing the street.
What did Joe Biden say when he got pulled over?
I'm just a-Biden the law, officer.
Your teeth are so yellow they slow down traffic.
I crashed into the back of a car at the lights today.
A really short guy got out of it and said, “I’m not happy.”
I said, “Well, which one are you then?”
Your head is so big, it looks like traffic is able to fit on it!
Were you bought on a highway? Because that's where most accidents happen.
A cop pulls me over and asks if I have been drinking.
I'm an honest person and say yes, I did, so I take off my sunglasses and tell him that I now had 2 glasses less.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To cut through traffic.
I ran into a kid today. Now I'm in jail and I lost my driver's license.
I pushed a disabled kid down a busy road and yelled out, "Mario Kart!"