I was anonymous with the previous jokes. I will now go by "I can fly! *falls*."
What's black and white and red all over? A mime I hit with my car.
Why do mostly younger orphans get adopted?
Because who wants a traffic an adult?
What does the cross guard say to the cows crossing the road?
Mooooooooooo along!
I can’t believe it’s been over a year since Kobe decided he’s too good to wait in traffic.
I hate sitting in traffic, I always get run over.
In other news, we are hearing of a nasty helicopter crash on the M4. Let's cross live to our eye-in-the-sky, Mark. Mark?
So I was asleep and woke up and went to work. My wife left already to her job. I was driving my car and ran over someone. I woke up in my bed, realized it was all a dream.
20 minutes later I got a phone call that my wife got hit by a car.
Say "traffic," and replace "r" with "h." It sounds like... that thicc.
Brother 2: We have these weird circles on the street! Government is tracking us!!!
Brother 1: They are just to sense cars so they can change lights. And it's the government.
Brother 2: Then why are there two in the left turn lane?
Brother 1: So one car isn't always going left and stopping the others.
Brother 2: Then why are they one car apart? Oh, to have three people going.
Brother 1: Correct. When I see one car on the first, I go on the second so my light changes.
Brother 2: You monster.
Brother 1: I wonder if they trigger by weight?
Brother 2: HA. Yo mama would trigger the sensor.
Brother 1: ARG. It's OUR MAMA you're disrespecting.
Mother (brother 1): What's going on boys? *looks in mirror* HOLY SH@& SHE IS PRETTY!
Brother 2: I think you should take your pills.
Brother 1: Found them.
*imaginary mother and brother fade away*
Thank you ELECTROBOOM for inspiring this joke/sh!t. Go subb to him.
Btw the (1) means it is just imaginary brother one acting like another brother.
Are you a red light? Because I stop every time I see you.
It’s disappointing that Los Angeles doesn’t offer better transportation, especially since my neighbor offers free mustache rides every night.
Mother Nature deserves a traffic ticket.
Summer is speeding by way too fast. 🤣🤣🤣
It’s been a terrible day today. My ex got hit by a bus and died.
Not only this, but the council cut my bus driver's permit!
You were born on the highway. That's where most accidents happen.
What's the difference between a road bump and children crossing the road?
A road bump will make you slow down when you drive over it.
Why did the T-Rex 🦖 get a ticket?
He ran at a stomp light!
What did the traffic light 🚦 say? Oh.
What did the traffic light 🚦 say to the car 🚗? Don’t look, I’m about to change!
All the traffic stopping the cars, how do you spell that without any R’s?
That.
Why were Helen Keller's hands crippled?
From reading stop signs at fifty miles per hour.
