New Traffic Jokes - Page 3 - Worst Jokes Ever

Your hairline goes so far back that cars on a highway don't know which way to turn.

What did the traffic light say to the other?

🚦🚥🚦 Stop looking, I'm changing!

Why are Chinese so good at jaywalking? Cause they can't tell the difference between green and red light with their tiny eyes.

I took my son to a driver's school and am surprised because he got his license but soon lost the privilege to drive a car because he ran over my ex on "accident."

(I gotta go pay him out of jail!)

I went out for a drive and attempted to drift on the road. It didn't end well for me, or for the speed bumps I hit.

Wait, there aren't any road bumps.

O h s h i t.

Boyfriend: "Babe, are you traffic police?"

Girlfriend: "No."

Boyfriend: "Then why do you shout at me for not wearing a helmet?"

A man got pulled over, and the policeman had stepped out and said, "Do you know how fast you were going?"

The man said, "I was trying to catch up with the traffic."

The officer said, "There is no traffic."

The man said, "Exactly, that’s how far behind I am!"

Why was there peanut butter in the middle of the road?

It went with the traffic jam.

Did you hear about Alicia's car accident?

She was really drunk and all over the road until she was all over the road.

Teacher: Why were you late?

Me: Traffic.

Teacher: Did I did it?

Me: Did I even blame it on you?

Why did Diana cross the road? Because she wasn't wearing a seatbelt.

When you run over a speed bump in a school zone and you remember that there are no speed bumps.

What's the difference between a yellow line and a baby?

You can't run over a yellow line.

When you hit a speed bump in a school zone and then you remember there are no speed bumps.

Why are orphans lucky?

Because when they drive, they don’t need a license plate, because they don’t have a home.

Driver's License-By- watersharky Music Productions and Olivia Rodrigo-

I got my driver's license last week Just like we always talked about 'Cause you were so excited for me To finally drive up to your house But today I drove through the suburbs Crying 'cause you weren't around And you're probably with that blonde girl Who always made me doubt She's so much older than me She's everything I'm insecure about Yeah, today I drove through the suburbs 'Cause how could I ever love someone else? And I know we weren't perfect but I've never felt this way for no one And I just can't imagine how you could be so okay now that I'm gone Guess you didn't mean what you wrote in that song about me 'Cause you said forever, now I drive alone past your street And all my friends are tired Of hearing how much I miss you, but I kinda feel sorry for them 'Cause they'll never know you the way that I do, yeah Today I drove through the suburbs And pictured I was driving home to you And I know we weren't perfect But I've never felt this way for no one, oh And I just can't imagine how you could be so okay, now that I'm gone I guess you didn't mean what you wrote in that song about me 'Cause you said forever, now I drive alone past your street Red lights, stop signs I still see your face in the white cars, front yards Can't drive past the places we used to go to 'Cause I still fuckin' love you, babe (ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh) Sidewalks we crossed I still hear your voice in the traffic, we're laughing Over all the noise God, I'm so blue, know we're through But I still fuckin' love you, babe (ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh) I know we weren't perfect but I've never felt this way for no one And I just can't imagine how you could be so okay, now that I'm gone 'Cause you didn't mean what you wrote in that song about me 'Cause you said forever, now I drive alone past your street Yeah, you said forever, now I drive alone past your street...

Wash It Away - By Bradley Lewis(watersharky) and Ben Lewis and Watersharky Music Productions - Why does it always feel like I'm the one that's had a bad day?

Whether I'm stuck in traffic or showing up to work late,

Oh this 9 to 5 feels like 9 to forever been working all week

For a jerk that thinks they can say whatever they want to me

I'll just bite my tongue for a couple more days

Soon I'll be in that island sun surfing those waves

I need the beach I love the ocean

Put my feet in the sand

Watch the earth in motion

Ya had a bad week ya had a bad day

Take it to the shoreside and wash it away

Oh yeah

You gotta wash it away