Traffic jokes
What type of jam can you not eat?
Traffic jam.
Kids in the backseat make accidents, and accidents in the back seat make kids.
Chuck Norris gets pulled over by a cop, and the cop gets a ticket.
A man is standing on the side of the road, waiting to cross, when another man stands alongside him. The first man says, "I have been waiting to cross here for ages. It's impossible to cross."
The second man says, "There is a zebra crossing up the road." He said, "I hope he is having better luck than I am!"
My favorite thing to do in my free time is putting a large skewer on the front of my car and speeding through a school zone trying to make a kebab.
Why did Princess Diana cross the road? She wasn't wearing a seat belt.
Why did Princess Di cross the road?
Momentum.
Man, don't you hate it when you hit a speed bump by an orphanage but then realize there's no speed bumps here...
What do you get when you cross a highway on a bike?
Run over.
Why did Princess Diana cross the road?
She forgot to put her seatbelt on.
Yo mama is so slow, when she stepped on the highway they had to order a crane to come move her from starting traffic.
Why did Joey drop his ice cream?
He was hit by a truck. (Don't worry, the truck was fine.)
Stephen Hawking died crossing the road. He was hit by a Universal Serial Bus.
What did the green light say to the red light? - Don't look, I'm changing!
What did one traffic light say to the other?
"Stop looking, I am changing."
Why did Princess Diana cross the road?
She wasn't wearing a seat belt.
What was the name of Russia's first female traffic cop?
Ivana Pulyova.
A cop stopped a guy for speeding. He said, "Do you know how fast you were going?" "I was trying to keep up with traffic," the guy replied. The cop said, "But there is no traffic." And the guy answered, "That's how far behind I am."