Traffic jokes
Why did Princess Di cross the road?
Momentum.
Man, don't you hate it when you hit a speed bump by an orphanage but then realize there's no speed bumps here...
What do you get when you cross a highway on a bike?
Run over.
Why did Princess Diana cross the road?
She forgot to put her seatbelt on.
Yo mama is so slow, when she stepped on the highway they had to order a crane to come move her from starting traffic.
Why did Joey drop his ice cream?
He was hit by a truck. (Don't worry, the truck was fine.)
Stephen Hawking died crossing the road. He was hit by a Universal Serial Bus.
What did the green light say to the red light? - Don't look, I'm changing!
What did one traffic light say to the other?
"Stop looking, I am changing."
Why did Princess Diana cross the road?
She wasn't wearing a seat belt.
What was the name of Russia's first female traffic cop?
Ivana Pulyova.
A cop stopped a guy for speeding.
He said, "Do you know how fast you were going?"
"I was trying to keep up with traffic," the guy replied.
The cop said, "But there is no traffic."
And the guy answered, "That's how far behind I am."