Worst Jokes Ever
What's similar between a fetus and a failed mission?
You abort it.
Well, I'm off to the orphanage to tell yo mama jokes.
What’s the difference between a pimple and a Priest?
You see, a pimple wouldn’t normally come on a kid until he’s 13 years old.
If Hillary and Biden got locked in a room together, all they would talk about is how to ruin America and make a plan to steal children.
I lit a retirement home on fire so that all the seniors can be cremated for free.
What is the difference between me and a fire?
It's hot.
Woman delivers baby. Doctor takes the baby and throws it, smashing it around the hospital room, drop-kicking it, etc. Mother starts freaking out, being held back by nurses, begging “WHYYYY!!??”. Doctor holds baby upside down by the ankle and says “I’m just fucking with you, it was born dead”.
Blood may be thicker than water, but yo mama is thicker than anything!
I once saw a kid walking down the street crying. So I asked them, "Hey kid, where are your parents?" And he started to cry even more...
"Huh. I wonder why he was so sad..." I said as I walked into the orphanage.
Yo mama so ugly,
my screen cracked when she took her photo!
You're so fat,
when you stepped on the scale,
Buzz Lightyear came out and said,
"To infinity and beyond!"
You’re so fat that when you sit on the toilet, it says, “A B C D E F G, get your butt off of me!”
Me: Hey Siri, did you know Candice died?
Siri: Yes, I was informed she died from sugondese.
Me: What is that?
Siri: Sugondese nuts.
Q: How do you make an emo kid happy?
A: Give them a Happy Meal.
What do you call a group of emos?
Suicide Squad.
My grandma told me I was next at my brother's wedding, so I told her she was next at her husband's funeral.
Dark humor is like water; not everyone gets it.
What does Joe Biden say to young girls when he leaves the room?
"Smell ya later!"
Your forehead is so big that it made Mona Lisa smile.
Roses are red, violets are blue,
I’m sorry you look like my old beat up shoe.