Worst Jokes Ever
He's got a massive f*cking cock, Ayew, Ayew. He tucks it in his football sock, Ayew, Ayew. Shagged a bird and now she's dead, Swung his cock around her head, Jordan Ayew Palace number nine.
One day I went to smoke weed with some Mexicans, but they ran away when I asked if they had papers.
What's the difference between a picture of Jesus and the real Jesus?
The picture only takes one nail to hang.
When you're at a funeral and you laugh at the body... everyone stares, and one person said, "Isn't that your mom...?"
Why can’t orphans have sex?
They have no one to call "daddy."
A kid asks his father, "How long is our trip, Dad?"
The kid's father says, "Our trip is a Fortnite."
I once had a pet snake, exactly 3.14 meters.
He was a great πthon.
What did the tree wear to the pool party 🥳?
Swimming trunks.
Why was the short person a coward? They didn't stand up to challenges.
Wanna ride a reindeer for Christmas? *rubs my antlers on you*
Actor 1: "I'm Michael with a b and I hate insects."
Actor 2: "Where's the b?"
Actor 1: "THERE'S A BEE???????????!!!!!!!!!!!????????!!!!!"
Two flies were playing football in a saucer. One tells the other, “You’ll need more practice if you want to play in the cup!”
Husband: Honey, do you want sex?
Wife: No, thanks, I have a headache.
Husband: Is that your final answer?
Wife: Mmmmm.
Husband: Are you sure?
Wife: Yes.
Husband: No doubts?
Wife: No.
Husband staring a long time at his wife.
Husband: Okay, I wanna use my lifeline to call a friend.
What do a school shooter and a person with gum have in common?
One's the pull it out everyone wants to be their friend.
From your Dad.
I won’t be back for a while, it’s a very long line.
A guy goes to Starbucks and asks, "Hey, if I can make you laugh, I don’t have to pay." The girl in the window says, "Okay." The guy says, "A little boy named Timmy lost his arms." The girl says, "Oh no!" The guy says, "And his dad left him when he was 4." The girl says, "Uhh yeah." The guy says, "Okay, I guess I’ll be paying then." The girl asks, "Okay, and what name will that be under?" The guy says, "Timmy, I’m Timmy."
Fat people should expect big things when they take their shirt off.
Where do walls shop?--Walmart.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Atch.
Atch who?
Sorry you are sneezing. Have you got a cold?
Want my cookie? Come and get it... 😭