Worst Jokes Ever

Did you hear about the racist sprinkler?

It kept going: "Spick spick spick Chink chink chink!"

If depression on crack fucked weed and 69 hours of not sleeping and had a baby with huge amounts of autism, that would be me.

How do you get a nun pregnant?

Dress her up as an altar boy.

Retards.

One day, a leaf asks Mom, "Mom, why am I named Leaf?"

Mom says, "Because when you were a baby, a leaf fell on your head."

The next day, Feather asks Mom, "Mommy, why am I named Feather?"

Mom says, "When you were a baby, a feather fell on your head."

The next day, Brick asks Mom, "Rhsisvrkanx!"

Mom says, "Shut up, Brick!"

Q: What did one koala say to the other? A: How's it hanging? 😂

An Oxymoron: A “Normal Autistic”.

A man goes to a doctor and says he's having problems shitting, so the doctor gives him an enema and says he needs to do it a few times at home, but does the first one for him. So the guy bends over the table, lubes him up, and shoves it deep in him, and he yells.

So later, the man goes home and tells his wife he needs her help with the enema. So he bends over, she lubes him up, puts a hand on his shoulder, and she shoves it up there, and he starts screaming and cussing, and the wife asks, "Did I hurt you?" He said, "No, I just realized when the doctor did it, he had both hands on my shoulders."

What has more brains than a student in a school shooting? The wall behind them.

Why can’t orphans get in trouble?

Because there’s no one to give a phone call home to.

Ching chong China.

Jing jong Japan.

Ting tong Taiwan.

Hing hong Hong Kong.

King kong Korea.

What do you call an Indian with a wooden leg? Shit on a stick.

What do you call an Indian with two wooden legs? A waste of lumber.

"Rape[is] the only sign of world peace in this life."

I gave my blind friend a piece of sandpaper. He said it was the most gruesome book ever.

Anybody know a girl named Candice? She just added me on snap.

I love telling jokes about orphans.

What are they gonna do, tell their parents?

What's better: nailing Jesus or getting nailed?

Depends on who's sucking.

One time in my dream, I had a dream that all people in wheelchairs could walk. It was awesome; I could walk!

What do you get when you put a baby in a blender?

A boner.

I screamed "Jenga" today when watching the 9/11 documentary.