Worst Jokes Ever
An Indian has a seat between two Pakistani's on board an airplane.
It's quite obvious to each of the three men where they are from. The Indian asks, "Pardon me gentleman, you wouldn't mind me sitting between you, do you? This is my seat, after all."
The Pakistanis look at each other, and then look back at him. One of them smiles and says, "Not at all! After all, Pakistanis and Indians are brothers! Are we not?"
The Indian is delighted at how warm and friendly they are, and he takes his seat. Shortly the plane takes off and the three guys are just chilling until the Indian says, "You know it's going to be a long ride and I am getting thirsty. Brothers, can I get any of you like a drink?" Then one of them says, "Yes brother, I would like a Coke!"
The Indian slips off his shoes and walks barefoot to where the stewardess is at, and when the Indian is out of view, one of the Pakistanis spits into his shoe. The Indian comes back and gives him a Coke.
Then the other Pakistani says, "You know what brother? I would also like a Coke too!" The Indian happily obliges, and as soon as he is out of view, he also spits in his shoe before the Indian gives him a Coke.
Finally, the Indian slips on his shoes and suddenly realizes how wet they are. He shakes his head and says, "Brothers! Why must we do this to each other, spitting in each other's shoes and peeing in each other's Cokes?"
Why did the cellphone get glasses? Because it lost its contacts!
Surveys show that 80% of women who wear yoga pants never do yoga.
And 100% of men don’t care.
Why do women wear panties with flowers on them?
In loving memory of all the faces that have been buried there.
What was the last thing to go through the minds of 9/11 jumpers?
Their ankles.
What's the difference between a hipster and a hockey player? A hockey player changes his pads every third period.
I saw a cute coworker and had sex in the back until I realized it is a family business.
3 people having sex is a threesome, 2 is a twosome. So next time someone calls you 'HANDSOME', don't take it as a compliment!
Why do women love Chinese food? Because WON TON spelled backward is NOT NOW!
What do you call an Iraqi who owns a camel and a goat?
Bisexual.
Why did Bruce Jenner cross the road?
To see how the other side felt!
How can you tell if someone Amish is an alcoholic? They keep falling off the wagon.
What did one orphan say to the other one?
"Get in the Batmobile, Robin."
Why can't you kill a hooker?
Because they're dead inside anyway.
Why is 10 afraid?
Because it’s in the middle of 9/11.
What is Helen Keller's son's name? Hrrrrrrr.
Did you hear? There is a new toy for boys ages 2-10. It's called Jackson. A tiny white doll, with black Jackson. Get it while supplies last.
I'm not saying you're annoying. But if rectal herpes were a person, it would be you.
Q: What do you call a baby in a vegetative state?
A: A tater tot.
What is the difference between a nun and a hooker?
One to trust and the other to thrust.