Worst Jokes Ever

I bought a coffin on Black Friday. It was a killer deal.

"Having too much sex can result in memory loss."

I read that on page 37, paragraph five of the New England Medical Journal on September 15th, 2014, at 10:37 AM.

I almost got caught trying to steal a board game yesterday.

It was a Risk I was willing to take.

What do you call a can opener that doesn't work?

A can't opener.

Fat people are like the Twin Towers. Once they go down, they don’t come back up.

I piss on blind kids and tell them it's raining.

All aboard the Magic School Bus! We are going to New York. The second tower has been hit.

What do you call an orphan that grows to be a priest?

Fatherless.

The earth used to be flat.

Till they buried yo mama.

Teacher: What comes after C?

Me: Ooh! Ooh! C4!

Teacher: Umm, ok... but still what comes after A?

Me: AK47!!!

Teacher thought: Oh hell na.

Teacher: What comes after X?

Me: Xplosin.

1 second later, bomb goes off. Idk.

Yoo! I found a $100 bill, found a child who said they lost their $100 bill. Gave them $25.

When God gives you glory, you give it back.

How did the pornstar cut herself while using a drill?

She was too used to grabbing the tip.

This is the account of music provider just let you I post for the enjoyment of myself, and to spread different kinds and types of music willingly. I do not respond for the soul reason of ✨people✨ and do not take offense to anything that I post. If you have and issues or just wanna talk contact me i'm only discord so that's all you getting (not being rude) ill put my discord in the comments.

9/11 isn't something we should joke about. Some people can remember where they were when they found out. I'll never forget where I was when I found out.

It was 9:37, September 10th, 2001. I was in a cave in Iraq when my friend Mohammad told me.

My Wife: How much do you love me??

Me: Count all the stars.

My Wife: Aww, infinity.

Me: No, a waste of time.

When I die, I want to die like my grandfather who died peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming like all the passengers in his car.

A little girl said one day, "Grandma's gonna die tonight!" The next morning, the girl's grandmother's body was found.

That day she said again, "Grandpa's gonna die tonight!" Sure enough, the girl's grandfather died and his body was discovered the next morning.

That day she said, "Daddy's gonna die tonight." The girl's father was terrified. He lay shaking the entire night. Somehow, he survived until morning. His wife came into the room crying. He asked her why she was upset and she said that the postman had died last night.

Ring.. Ring.. Yes this is Dave from the Orphanage, "you make 'em we take 'em", how may I be of service?

What did the hot dog say to the condom? "Hot dog condom style."

I wasn’t planning on going for a run today, but those cops came out of nowhere!