Worst Jokes Ever
Today at the bank, an old lady asked me to help her check her balance.
So I pushed her over.
When a woman removes polish with chemicals, no one bats an eye.
But when Hitler removes the Polish with chemicals, everyone loses it...
Papyrus: HUMAN, WHY ARE YOU SAD?
Me: I'm just BONELY.
Sans: Good one kiddo.
What's the difference between a black person and an apple?
An apple chooses to hang.
What's stiff and 6 inches long?
SIDS.
What has four legs and one arm? A rottweiler at a park.
Why can’t Michael Jackson go within 500 meters of a school?
Because he’s dead.
Helicopter, helicopter, Kobe Bryant in my chopper, Sitting next to burning daughter, Lots of smoke and little laughter.
What's a kind of cat that lives in the water? Octopus.
Why is the USA bad at chess?
Because they lost two towers.
Yo mama so fat that when the cashier at KFC asked her what size bucket she wants, she said "the one on the roof."
Why do a pedophile love Halloween?
Free delivery.
Q: What do the St. Louis Rams and Billy Graham have in common?
A: They both can make 70,000 people stand up and yell, “Jesus Christ.”
What passengers were happy that the Titanic sank?
The lobsters in the kitchen.
What’s one good thing about a pedophile?
They drive slow in school zones.
Where can you find a list of dead astronauts? In the orbituaries.
Why do bees sting?
Because they're pricks.
What did one cow say to the other? You are mootiful!
What do you call 2 octopuses that look the same? Identical!
Where does an octopus put its money? In an octo-purse!
Someone dies.