When the North Tower saw the South Tower collapse, he would say, "I'm still standing."
Worst Jokes Ever
Why do orphans get confused about ancient Egypt? Because they wouldn’t know what a mummy is.
Why can't orphans be criminals?
Because they're not wanted.
What do you call an emo with no breasts? A cutting board.
What do you call male mermaids?
Mer-butlers!
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they can't find home.
I drew a fist on a body, and then I drew a guy saying to him, "That dude's a knucklehead!"
I once tried to have a family friendly conversation with a worm, but it kept its head in the dirt.
Imagine this scenario: A doctor walks in and tells the patient that he has all the illnesses, diseases, etc. in the world but cooler like this: "Bumbumbum you have depression, diarrhea, and cancer,... etc."
And then the last one on the list is that he is deaf, and then the doctor shows the patient the list.
Why does America suck at chess?
They lost two towers.
My dad killed Hitler.
Tip for Kindness for the day.
Tip one. Always speak up for yourself.
Yes, letting someone else speak up for you is nice but also speak up for yourself, be brave if a mean bully comes along. Speak up for yourself and others if they need it. Best, Gwen
I didn’t know Stephen Hawking died. Oh god, it must have been when I disconnected the Wi-Fi!
The teacher said she made the kids guess what a random word was, and it was honey. She also gave them a sample of honey to make it a little easier.
Teacher said that it was something that you eat and what parents call each other. Little Johnny said, "I know what it is now! Spit them out now guys, their Buttholes!"
Genie: What are your 3 wishes?
Me: Make every word 4 letters long.
Geni: Wish Gran.
Me: Make every word start with "br".
Genie: Brsh Bran.
Me: Bree: brke brer brrd brnd brth "uh".
Bruh: Bruh bruh.
Bruh: Bruh bruh bruh.
Bruh: Bruh bruh.
Imagine not having parents. Lol.
Here is a funny little prank I did on my sister. So she was in her room when she reached to get her shampoo, cause you know girls and hair, when she went to squeeze it out, it came out oil, toothpaste, chicken breast, barf, and onions! SHE PUT IT IN HER HAIR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GROSS BUT FUNNY!
When she got to school she heard kids laughing at her cause the prankster did it again!
Later!
Medusa makes men hard.
I went to a restaurant that serves "breakfast any time," so I ordered French toast during the Renaissance.
— Steven Wright
China wants their name on everything but the m.f. virus.
