Worst Jokes Ever
Diabetic wives are like Cillit Bang. Squeeze them a bit and bang! The bed is gone.
Hey Jonny, you can buy a...
Pun o' chips at the store!
What do you call a dancing cow that dies while dancing?
Dead mooves.
My mom's name is Angel, and she is nothing like one!
Especially in bed...
There's an old lady doing gardening every year. Nothing grows. She goes to the man who lives next door. She says, "How do you get your tomatoes so big and red?" He tells her, "You show them your privates at night time." So she leaves. That night later, she goes outside and shows the garden her privates. The next day she's got zucchinis a meter long!
What’s green, fuzzy, and falls out of a tree? A pool table.
What’s the difference between a tuna and a tube of glue?
You can tuna piano but you can't piano a tuna.
What happened to the glue?
I knew you would get stuck on that!
What do you call someone who farts in public? A private tutor.
What does Stephen Hawking have for food?
We have been cursed by curse-ive.
Will Will Smith smith?
Yes, Will Smith will smith.
What do you call a lesbian dinosaur?
Licka-lotta-puss.
What do you call a dabbing cow?
Udder savagery.
I like my coffee like my men, long and black.
Ex-girlfriend: "I can smell fish."
Ex-boyfriend: "I can smell shit."
Ex-boyfriend: "Well, how many boys swam down there?"
Ex-girlfriend: "20!"
Fish: "It wasn't me. I don't swim around mistakes."
Fuck burger.
The FBI said, "Open up!" I shout to them.
A person said, "Cookie sale." I opened up. He fucked me.
Octopussy.
Michael is gay and sucks cock.
Callum Coulter