Worst Jokes Ever
What do you call an octopus dad?
An octodad.
How is being gay like a geology class?
You get to lick all the rocks you want.
Your mum is so stupid, she tried to take the crown off a "Keep Calm and Carry On" poster so that she could become the new queen of England.
What's the difference between a truck full of babies and a truck full of bowling balls?
You can only unload one of them with a pitch fork.
Why did Vladimir Putin get bad grades? -- Because he was Russian.
What is 2+2? Fish.
What did the bitch say to her sister when she stepped on her toe? Oww, mitosis!
Borthwick's hairline.
Travis has baby hands.
What did the dick say to the asshole?
You need another dick.
An 80-year-old blind man asks his grandson, "Can you grab my glasses?"
Then the grandson says, "Did you get in the flour again?"
Grandpa said, "No, it was the weed."
How bad is explosive diarrhea when a Muslim has it? Because my Chipotle blew up yesterday.
Do the French people smoke weed or oui'd?
I saw a petition on replacing gravestones with trees so it will be a beautiful forest.
Son: Where's grandma?
Guy 1: What's your favorite vegetable?
Guy 2: Stephen Hawking.
Why do the Greeks and Romans like food? Because food is good for you.
Why do only guys have fun? There's only the word "penis" in happiness.
Penis.
What’s the difference between acne and a Catholic priest?
Acne waits till you’re 13 to come on your face.
I once was sitting outside and watched the birds go by. I checked my watch and said, "My, how time is FLYING by!"