Worst Jokes Ever
Papyrus: HUMAN, WHY ARE YOU SAD?
Me: I'm just BONELY.
Sans: Good one kiddo.
Why can’t Michael Jackson go within 500 meters of a school?
Because he’s dead.
What's the difference between a black person and an apple?
An apple chooses to hang.
What's a kind of cat that lives in the water? Octopus.
What’s one good thing about a pedophile?
They drive slow in school zones.
Yo mama so fat that when the cashier at KFC asked her what size bucket she wants, she said "the one on the roof."
What do you call 2 octopuses that look the same? Identical!
Where does an octopus put its money? In an octo-purse!
Why do a pedophile love Halloween?
Free delivery.
Why do bees sting?
Because they're pricks.
What did one cow say to the other? You are mootiful!
Q: What do the St. Louis Rams and Billy Graham have in common?
A: They both can make 70,000 people stand up and yell, “Jesus Christ.”
What's stiff and 6 inches long?
SIDS.
Why did the Muslim man cross the road? To violently rape an eight-year-old girl, then indoctrinate her with Islamic scripture, and train her as a suicide bomber.
Someone dies.
What’s the difference between school and prison? One is painted.
A man is walking into the woods with a young boy.
Boy: “Hey mister, it’s getting dark out and I’m scared.”
Man: “How do you think I feel? I have to walk back alone.”
Better Friday the 13th than Monday the 13th.
A normal exorcism is getting a demon out of a person, but a reverse exorcism is the devil telling the priest to get out of the child.
What do you call a Mexican fighting a Catholic priest?
Alien vs. Predator.
A boy sat in his bed, watching a meteor shower. He was a vengeful child and wished that his parents would no longer bother him whilst he was gaming.
The next morning, he woke up to find his mother had passed away in the night. Clearly his wish had worked. However, his father worked a midnight job, and as such the boy was very confused when he returned home from work, expecting him to have met the same fate.
The two of them then looked out the window in thought, only to find the milkman lying dead on the pavement.