Worst Jokes Ever
"Disease" technically means "lack of ease," so if a girl is hard to get, call her a disease.
That's what Elliot Rodger did.
What happens to grapes when you step on them? They wine.
Hi stone, I'm watching.
Nobody really liked our fireplace.
So I turned it into a brick pizza oven. Idk why, but now everyone likes our fireplace.
Your hairline is so bent, the McDonald's logo hairline made fun of it.
-E-
What does my family and the Twin Towers have in common? We both played Jenga.
A husband came back from a business trip and found out that his wife was pregnant. At first, he got a bit suspicious, but then he just ignored it and hugged his wife with happiness. The second when he met his friend and told him the news, the friend just said, "Wait, what? I thought she was on pills!"
Guys, say "I love gape horn" really loud and you will get good luck for 10 years.
What do you call people who have an Oedipus complex?
Motherfuckers.
Where do spiders commit crimes?
The Dark Web.
What do you call five Black people having sex?
Threesome.
Why are orphans so bad at poker?
They don’t know what a full house looks like.
So I told the officer, "I can't even walk when I'm sober."
I taped a picture of Bill Cosby to my gun. Now it’s an assault rifle.
An African man visits his friend in the US.
“I just flew in yesterday,” the African man says. “And boy are my arms tired!”
“You know, that’s kind of an old joke here in America,” replied his friend.
“Joke?” the African man said. “I’ve been holding my hands in the air yelling ‘don’t shoot’ ever since I got to this damn country!”
Q: What's the difference between a nun and a woman in a bathtub?
A: One has hope in her soul and one has soap in her hole.
A conman, a mentally handicapped person, and a Russian spy walk into a bar.
And the bartender asks, "What will it be, Mr. President?"
What's the hardest thing when working with the severely mentally handicapped?
My dick.
What’s the best part about being a circumcision doctor?
The pay is good and you also get to keep the tips!
Why does Michael Jackson like football, baseball, and tennis? Because of the "balls".