Worst Jokes Ever
Two terrorists walk into a bar, and the bartender says, "What can I get you?"
The terrorists both say, "A beer."
The bartender overhears them talking about how they will kill 300 people and a donkey. The bartender says, "Why a donkey?"
One terrorist says, "See, I told you no one would care about the people!"
I watch my parents sleep with a knife in my hands. Only got caught once.
What do you call a Mexican who's lost his car?
Carlos.
Did you?
Why are some girls scared easily?
They don't have balls.
Have you ever eaten African food?
Son: Dad, I have black skin and you have white skin, are you sure you're my parents?
Dad: Oh... well I never thought it would come to this, or to your head that you were kidnapped...
Son: Am I kidnapped?
Dad: Well, you're adopted, and if you want to see your biological parents, they’ll be waiting for you in heaven.
What’s the difference between my ex and a unicycle?
A unicycle can only take one person at a time.
My 19-year-old girl killed a butterfly. I said no butter for you.
She then she killed a cockroach. I told her nice try.
Emma Watson gets hotter and hotter in the Harry Potter movies when you’re watching in reverse order.
Why are Asians so bad at baseball? ... Because they ate the bat!
What do Special Ed kids and fast kids have in common? They like to do things sped up.
My dad told me a joke one time. When I realized the joke, the second tower was hit.
Yesterday, there was a blackout on my street.
So I sold them.
A white woman was caught on video using racial slurs and assaulting two black students. She was charged with "interpreting" a black police officer.
Q: What's the difference between a nun and a woman in a bathtub?
A: One has hope in her soul and one has soap in her hole.
I hope you remembered my name since you’ll be screaming it later.
Why do men fart louder than women?
Because women can’t keep their mouth shut to build up any pressure.
You know how people say white men can’t jump? Well, you should check the 9/11 footage.
Kid: "Grandma, what's dark humour?"
Grandma: "See that man in the wheelchair over there?"
Kid: "But Grandma! I'm blind!"
Grandma: "Exactly."