Worst Jokes Ever

Roses are red, Violets are blue, God made me pretty, WHAT THE FRICK HAPPENED TO YOU?

Do you have a sunburn, or are you just always this hot?

Q. Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl in the bathroom?

A. Because it has a silent pee.

Why can’t orphans play baseball?

They don’t know where home is.

A man walks into a bar.

He had to have 13 stitches!

Hello Watersharky, I am Koge.

I see your songs and want to be your agent. Please write back about this offer. Thank you.

One time I tried running to home, but I forgot I don't have one, so I stayed at third.

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

Broken pencil.

Broken pencil who?

Never mind, it's pointless.

My therapist told me time heals all wounds, so I stabbed him. Now we wait.

What do you call a shoe made out of a banana?

A slipper.

How many people does it take to wash the dishes?

Only Juan.

Why was the chicken in trouble?

For using fowl language!

What do you call a plate that lies? Dish-onest!

What do you call a boomerang that won’t come back?

A stick.

Why does an orphan only have 363 days in a year?

Because they don’t have mothers and Father’s Day!

I'm on a seafood diet. I see food and I eat it! 😌

I reached into my pocket and pulled out a rectal thermometer and thought,

"Some asshole has my pen!"

I had a dream that I was destroying the world, and I blew up my house for fun. I woke up and couldn't find my pillow... nor the house.

I don't have a carbon footprint; I just drive everywhere.

Banana!