Worst Jokes Ever
How could the German people fall for Hitler and the Nazis?
There were an awful lot of red flags!
Slow and steady wins the race...
...but it will never fix your ugly face.
A blind kid accidentally touches the emo kid's wrist and says, "I'm not reading all of that!"
Who's the closest family member to Paul Walker?
Answer: The tree.
Why was 10 so scared? Because he was in the middle of 9/11.
He's homeless.
Another: Oh he must be A "Sheer" (as in Andrew Scheer) survivor...
The other: No, he's a Liberal (as in Justin Trudeau) job hopeful.
Q: What is the hardest part of a vegetable to swallow?
A: A wheelchair.
"Knock Knock"
"Who's there?"
"John."
"John who?"
John broke down into tears as his Mother's Alzheimer's had gotten progressively worse.
Two rabbits were racing. Neither could get ahead, so they ended in a hare-tie!
Two mates walk into a bar.
Mate 1: "Shit! Look at that spider over there!"
Mate 2: "Whateverrrrrrr."
Mate 1: "No, seriously, it's bloody massive!"
Mate 2: "(Turns around) Shit, that's huge, I thought you were joking."
Mate 1: "No, I'm Fred King, Jo King's brother ;-)"
My mom said the only way to cure depression is to do what she does. She's dead.
мy naмe ιѕ jeғғ.
I left my dog at home once, and when I came home it was a mess. Let's just say I was in a RUFF situation.
Hmmm.
I couldn’t quite remember how to catch a boomerang, but eventually it hit me!
If I went out with a dwarf, when I pick them up, I'll say, "Wassup short?"
Why do Japanese people hate iPhones? Because they're scared that American airdrops will fall on them.
What does the sign say on the hooker house after they were on lockdown?
Answer: "We're on lockdown, get lost pervert."
In response to a buddy saying they joined a golf club:
"Jfc, you’ve gone softer than your old man’s dick after your mom suggests a romantic night in! I swear to God you’re so fucking bougie."
(Pause)
"Oh, I forgot to tell you, while you were gone I got a weird call for you... Some Jeff guy? Said something about a loan..."
"Jeff who?"
"Bezos."
Girl: Hi (flirt)
Boy: Hi? (reluctant)
Girl: I'm a cheerleader captain, I'm also single (flirt).
Boy 2: Excuse me?! He's MY MAN...