Worst Jokes Ever
🗣: "Stop making suicide jokes!"
"Don't worry bro, I'll end it soon."
Me vs. the emo kid: we go to high-five a tree. I get a high five; the emo kid is left hanging.
What do Special Ed kids and fast kids have in common? They like to do things sped up.
I'm sorry, orphans, that you're getting bullied. Oh, I have to go, my MOM's calling me. We're going on a road trip to go to a FAMILY reunion!
Your hairline goes so far back that even God said, "I learned about it in my days."
Bro, Kobe Bryant is singing with the basketball team in his helicopter, celebrating right now, I bet.
Oh wait, I forgot.
Why did the chicken cross the road to KFC?
He wanted to see a chicken strip.
Q: What did one gay cowboy say to the other gay cowboy?
A: Hayyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!
She said you can twerk, so I put her in a tractor and put her to work. She got mad at me and said, "There's no good men," but I gave her a kob and equal pay!
A little riddle...
Trump has it short, Kennedy has it long, the Pope has it but he doesn't use it, what is it?
...
Obviously the Surname, what are you thinking about you pervert?
What do you call a group of sped kids with AK-47s?
Special forces.
What did the science textbook say to the math textbook?
You've got a lot of problems!
"Disease" technically means "lack of ease," so if a girl is hard to get, call her a disease.
That's what Elliot Rodger did.
Some of the most convincing people you'll ever listen to are born liars; usually they're called politicians.
I asked my mom why dad was so pale and sick. She said, "Shut the fuck up and keep digging!"
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple actually got picked.
Why do fathers take an extra pair of socks when they go golfing?
In case they get a hole in one!
What’s the definition of “perfect pitch?”
Throwing a viola into the dumpster without hitting the rim.
Why don’t violists play hide and seek?
Because no one will look for them.
I watch my parents sleep with a knife in my hands. Only got caught once.