Worst Jokes Ever

My gf told me she was pregnant. So I punched her in the stomach.

She asked me "Why the hell did you do that?!?!?" "I wanted to let you know I'm pro abortion."

Your mama is so fat, it said "To be continued..." then it loaded and said "One person at a time!"

Teacher: Can someone tell me the only living thing that can reproduce without sex?

Little Johnny: "Your wife."

This isn't really a joke, but I HAVE PTSD, YAY! :)

Dababy in my dickle trickle when eating my pickle.

One rainy day a NASCAR race was going on and they had no other choice but to use this bitch's forehead. https://sportsrecruits.com/athlete/morgan_tomporowski

There were 3 Gay Fish in a Tank. One says to the others: "How do you drive this thing?"

Like this joke if you LOLed! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

What do Gay Men and Minorities have in common?

My dad hates them both!

Why does Aaron have no friends? Because his spine is weird and he is fat.

What is a depressed kid's favorite game?

Hangman.

I wish my ex-wife would take me back. :(

HAHAHAH! You all got April fooled in the wrong month!

Why didn’t the orphan play baseball?

Because I took the bat and swung it at their kneecaps, and now they can’t run. What are they going to do, tell their parents?

Me: "What are you doing??"

Bully: "Where's my nan's urn?!?"

Me: "I don't know."

Bully: "Tell me!! *says worthless shit*"

Me: "Next time you're looking for the urn, don't bother, I smoked her ashes. They were so fucking good. I then used a quarter of them as an exfoliator, cleared my acne and eczema btw!! Then built sandcastles with them, then blew them in your family's face after!"

Don't bully kids.

God bless the shooting that happened.

Why did Stephen Hawking die?

Because his wife changed the Wi-Fi password.

Why can't orphans go to spelling bees? Because they can't spell "home."

Yo mama's so ugly, she looked out the window and was arrested for mooning.

Yo mama is so big, her belt size is "equator."

What do you call a fish with no eyes? Fsh.