Worst Jokes Ever
What is a redneck's favorite sock?
A red sock.
Abortion is not murder, it's just canceling your preorder.
The sky never changes color, but when it does, we know how your breath is increasing.
Son: Mom, I did the test and I have cancer!
Mom: YOU HAVE CANCER?!
Son: Mom, as my zodiac symbol...
Mom:....
Do you think you can solve a riddle about my penis because I don't think you can...
It's too hard.
It was September 10, 2001, when I stayed up watching TV shows.
I woke up late for work at The World Trade Center, but it was burning. I said out loud, "I was late! I'm happy I was late to work! I mean... I could've di-" I was then beaten and bruised by the emergency services.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Anita.
Anita who?
Anita poo let me in!
Hitler was a nazi.
What do Stephen Hawking and the Wicked Witch have in common?
If you throw water over them, they both die...
Yesterday, my daughter was playing in the garden when I saw her kill a butterfly. So to teach her a lesson, I said, "Just for that, you don't get any butter for a month."
Today in the kitchen, she killed a cockroach. I said, "Nice try!"
I went to the shops yesterday. I bought roast chicken, eggs, and duck. The cashier read $45.99. It was an egg-cellent price!
Why did Arnold throw his clock out of the window?
It reminded him of Richard Clocks, a man convicted for knife raping his wife.
You wanna hear a joke about my penis?
Don’t worry, it’s too long.
What did Saskia say to Brandon?
Saskia: "Can you rape me like you did Sydney?"
Famous last words.
Twin towers: “Is it a bird, is it Superman? AAAAAHHHHHH SHHHHHIIIIIIIIIZZ!”
A blond, a brunette, and a redhead walked into a bar. The bartender told them there was a magic mirror in the bathroom. He said that if you spoke the truth in front of the mirror, you would have your greatest desires, but if you told a lie, you would disappear.
The redhead said that she was the prettiest girl in the bar, and she walked out of the bathroom, and she got a thousand dollars. The brunette walked in and said she was the smartest one in the bar. She walked out of the bar with a new car. The blonde went in, she said, "I think..." poof, she was gone.
Lachlan
What's the difference between acne and a Catholic priest?
Acne waits until a kid is a teenager to come on its face.
Whet
Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill?
Because of gravity.