Worst Jokes Ever

When I look at you, I wish I could meet you again for the first time... and walk past.

Roberto: Judd, your DNA looks like the infinite symbol.

Judd: Roberto, your DNA looks like a pasta noodle.

Your mom is so fat, she brought a spoon to the Super Bowl.

You can slap, punch, knock out an orphan, what will they do? They don't have parents!

1: Hey.

2: What?

1: We're outta paint.

2: *HMM*

(And that's how stop signs have extra paint.)

Alright class, the person who answers my next question gets to go home.

Then a guy throws a pencil. The teacher asks, "Who threw that pencil?" "I did, I get to go home."

What do you call Scooby Doo with a blunt in his mouth? Scooby Dooby.

Speak to your dad before I put my hand up your ass!

Why can't an orphan play baseball?

He doesn't have a home to go to.

Why did the ducks go to jail?

They sold quack.

My kid runs in today to tell me that he found a floating cow, but when he got me to come and see, all I saw was a piñata with a tail and white spots. Such a stupid child. So after that I gave him a nice refreshing drink from the toilet and a few of those chocolate sprinkles. (: I'm such a good parent...

Why did the judge dismiss court when the orphan walked in?

Even a gay prison wouldn't want him.

What happens to Stephen Hawking when he logs in to his account on Google when it says, "I am not a robot?"

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it only went halfway.

What do you call a dipshit?

A Charlie.

It's too long, sorry. >:)

What's the difference between a God and my mom?

My mom exists. I mean... she did at one point! Unlike any "Gods."

When you wear a big hat and your butt starts to splat diarrhea!

I love Alabama. I live there. I have a sign that says, "Sweet Home Alabama!"

Why did the chicken cross the rooooo o oooad?