Worst Jokes Ever

So, when I'm about to take a shower, my mom says, "Take a shower." When I'm about to take out the trash, my mom says, "Take out the trash."

Why did they put the Petronas towers? Eh, you do you.

I got carded at a liquor store, and my Blockbuster card accidentally fell out. The cashier said, "Never mind."

Why can’t orphans play baseball?

Because they can’t find home base.

Your mom is emo, Deacon.

What do you call a man in love with an emo?

I really don't know.

Your hairline is so long it reaches your toes.

Your skin's so bright you could be used as a highlighter.

What do gay people call fighting? It can't be beef, so...

Carrots?

Have you seen the Justin meme?

Yeah, the ones that cracked at Fortnite?

Just-in time for deez nuts.

Bruh.

But actually, it's a parody.

Wait, actually?

Parodiesnuts (pair of deez nuts).

I said to my girlfriend nothing can ever make you look ugly...

Because you already look ugly.

How do you make an orphan's hands bleed?

You tell them to clap until their parents come back.

I'm alive, baby!

It's important to have a good vocabulary. If I had known the difference between "antidote" and "anecdote," one of my best friends would still be alive.

Bumpkin boy.

I saw my midget neighbor at a bus stop.

"Jump in, I'll give you a lift home," I said.

"Bugger off!" he shouted back.

"What an ungrateful little man," I thought as I zipped up my backpack and continued my walk.

A boy couldn't walk normally because his pants were huge, and when he went to school, the people there made so many jokes about him that he died.

IT'S NOT TRUE, JUST A FAKE JOKE, DON'T WORRY!

Your mom was so fat that she couldn't have a man and couldn't go through the door.

I'M JOKING, DON'T GET MAD!

Do you know what Fortnite was like before season 2 chapter 3? They put the Foundation / The Rock in the water where aliens were that season.

Have you ever heard of hearing aids?

Yeah, me neither.