Worst Jokes Ever
What’s Stephen Hawking’s favorite food?
His left shoulder.
My kid runs in today to tell me that he found a floating cow, but when he got me to come and see, all I saw was a piñata with a tail and white spots. Such a stupid child. So after that I gave him a nice refreshing drink from the toilet and a few of those chocolate sprinkles. (: I'm such a good parent...
What is something that makes you wish you were dead, rips your skin off, is small, can wear you out in two seconds, betray you in any way possible, and can eat you alive?
Kid's.
lolo.
Me: What do you want to do for your birthday?
Fiancé: I want to go somewhere I've never been before!
Me: Well welcome to the Kitchen!
Why did the bounty hunter not cash in an orphan?
He was not worth keeping.
What happens to Stephen Hawking when he logs in to his account on Google when it says, "I am not a robot?"
Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it only went halfway.
Dad: Honey!
Mom: What?
Dad: All of the broken condoms are on the bed.
Mom: WHAT!?
Children: *staring*
What do you call a dipshit?
A Charlie.
When you wear a big hat and your butt starts to splat diarrhea!
What do you call a house with no one living inside?
An orphan house.
A man is about to be hanged. His executioner asks for his last words.
The man says, “Man, it’s hard to think of something when your life is on the line.”
I love Alabama. I live there. I have a sign that says, "Sweet Home Alabama!"
Wish jokers.
I give homework.
Why was your mom so into me?
'Cause she was the man.
Wanna know what's worse than 5 babies in one dumpster?
1 baby in 5 dumpsters.....
Get noob.
How do you make a tissue dance?
Put a boogie in it!