Worst Jokes Ever
787 bowing.
A train walks into a bar. It says to the barkeeper, "I'll have a gallon of ale."
"A gallon?" the barkeeper asks.
"Yes," replies the train, "I always end up chugging it."
What can't a Desert Eagle and Barrett do for stealth missions?
They can't be way too loud.
What do a tank and a warship have in common?
They're overweight.
Why did a school shooter get banned from a game server?
He was caught aimbotting.
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
Because they can’t find home.
What did Hermione say when she pantsed someone?
"Wow, Harry!"
Why didn’t the pecan go to the ballet?
It was afraid of the nutcracker.
Why can’t a blind person be a teacher? Because they can’t control their pupils.
Why was there peanut butter in the middle of the road?
It went with the traffic jam.
What is a popular name for girl peanuts?
Michelle.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Cash.
Cash who?
No thanks, I prefer walnuts!
What do you call a nut stuck to a wall?
A walnut.
What’s a nut’s favorite Shakespeare line?
“To be or nut to be.”
When is the peanut butter due to arrive?
In a Jif.
Why couldn’t the peanut finish the project?
Work came to a grinding halt.
What sandwich spread makes people itch?
Flea-nut butter.
What happens if a cashew falls down your shirt?
It becomes a chestnut.
What did the peanut say to the cashew after their argument?
I'mma cashew outside!
Who answers the door at the peanut mansion?
The peanut butler.