Worst Jokes Ever
What do you call a priest that graduated from law school?
Father-in-law.
What do you call a flat emo?
A chopping block🖤
A Muslim enters a building with 100 passengers and an airplane.
What is Hitler's favorite animal?
A dolphin.
And God said to John, "Come forth, and you shall be granted eternal life."
But John came fifth and won a toaster.
What's the difference between a Mexican and a drawer?
The drawer has papers.
I hate it when a couple has a minor quarrel, and the girlfriend updates her Facebook status to ‘single.’
I mean, I fight with my parents all the time, but I never update my status to ‘orphan.’
My (at the time) boyfriend told our chemistry teacher that blood is corrosive to steel.
Anyways, my sharpener isn’t working because the blade has been too badly damaged from something else...
What is the difference between an orphan and cotton candy?
Answer: The cotton candy gets picked.
Your hair is so far back, you left it at your last address.
Guy: "Can I tell you a joke?"
Spiderman: "Yes."
Guy: "You only have 11 months on your calendar."
Spiderman: "Why?"
Guy: *holds up knife* "Because I murdered May."
Q: Why are Americans so good at Rubik's cubes?
A: 'Cause they have a history of separating colors.
What’s someone with AIDS' favorite Taylor Swift song?
"Baby, now we got bad blood."
The other day I went to a museum. My friend and I went to the Holocaust section, and he got choked up when he saw the Anne Frank picture. I asked him, "Why are you sad? It's just an ashtray."
"Babe, is it in?" "Yeah." "Does it hurt?" "Uh-huh." "Let me put it in slowly." "It still hurts." "Okay, let's try another shoe size."
I took my 5 year old son to ride some roller coasters. I think he didn’t like it because I challenged him to a no hands contest.
He said, "But I don’t have any." He wanted to know what dark humor is. Now he knows what it is and what it feels like.
How do you get a black girl to suck your meat?
Put barbecue sauce on it.
Who cooks in a lesbian relationship?
Neither one of them, they eat out.
What does a cannibal call a wheelchair user?
Fast food.
Why do people hate abortion jokes?
It leaves you with an empty feeling inside.