Worst Jokes Ever
Waitress: What can I get for you?
Me: I'll have a steak.
Waitress: How would you like it?
Me: Immediately!
Is it a bird? Is it a plane?
I don't know, but it's coming for the towers.
Why did the sped kid get expelled?
Because he was tardy.
2001 called... they hit the Pentagon.
My girlfriend asked me to hand her lipstick, but I accidentally passed her a glue stick. She still isn't talking to me.
When you have erectile dysfunction, it could be expressed as the Leaning Tower of Pisa.
If you got a bowling ball and you stuck it on top of a sack of potatoes, what would you get?
A "retiree."
What's black and white and red all over?
The darkness of your heart, the dishonor of your lies, and the embarrassment you feel when busted for both.
You can tell if a woman is angry if she is holding a gun.
Sometimes I wish my grass was depressed, then it would just cut itself.
If I wanted to hear beeping, I wouldn’t have pulled my grandma’s cord to live.
Why can't an orphan play baseball?
Because he can't find home.
Why did the Titanic sink?
Because the people aboard are stupid.
Knock knock. Who's there? Well, I will tell you who's not there: my dad.
The only thing colder than Siberia is my girlfriend's ex!
Your hairline looks like Thanos snapped your hair out of existence.
Your mama so fat that when Thanos snapped his finger, it only got rid of weight.
I braced myself when I got in the car, but then I realized my wife wasn't driving.
What does a nun say when you ask too many questions?
"Nunya business!"
What’s black and at the top of a stair case?
Stephen Hawking during a house fire.