Worst Jokes Ever
Your forehead is so big that I could draw the map of the world on it.
What is Osama bin Laden singing right now?
*cue the little mermaid* "Undaaa the sea, undaaa the sea"
Where can you donate an aborted fetus?
Your local pizzeria.
That’s right, I have my own category😎
What does the school shooter do after he shoots a victim? He shoots more kids in them!
Did you hear about that one guy who dipped his balls in paint?
My friend said they were “Pretty nuts!”
These two guys were texting each other.
Guy 1: How are you?
Guy 2: I’m great. The weather is lovely here. Guy 2: *sends picture of a flying spring*
Guy 1: ???
Guy 2: Springs in the air. :)
When I'm peeing in a toilet I don't pee directly into the water. I pee on the curved part of the bowl beside the water because I figure it splashes less, but when you're peeing that close to the edge, the sporadic tiny offshoots of pee become a greater threat.
I'm not sure if the accumulation of these offshoots is greater than the potential splashback from peeing mid-bowl. It's possible that I'm thinking about this too much, but it's also possible that I'm not thinking about this enough.
I got an iPhone 14 for my brother? That was the best trade I ever made.
Jack & Jill went up the hill so Jack could lick her candy...but Jack got a shock and a mouth full of c0ck cuz Jill's real name was Randy.
Her Name was Lola. She was a loner. At the Copa I saw her And I just wanted to bone her!
Her name was Lola.
She was a loner.
At the Copa.
Then I saw her,
And I got a boner.
The next morning,
She couldn't remember if I banged her.
Your hairline is so deep people can see what you're thinking.
Texas is such a shitty state. There’s a reason it only has one star.
What's an orphan's favorite flower?
A self-raising flower.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they won't know where home plate is.
Why are orphans good at dodge ball?
No one misses them.
I asked my French mate if he had a games console. He said, "Oui!"
At weddings my mom always tells me I’m next. So I say the same to her, at funerals.
You're so clapped that you make Susan Boyle attractive.