Worst Jokes Ever
Wife: “How do I look?” Husband: “With your eyes.”
Where do you take someone who’s been injured in a peek-a-boo accident?
To the I.C.U.
A weasel walks into a bar and the bartender says, “Wow, I’ve never seen a weasel before. What can I get you?”
“Pop,” goes the weasel.
Bro has to get a fringe to cover up the big, increasing hairline.
According to all known laws of aviation, there is no way that Keagan's FIFA team should be this terrible, also the problem is that Keagan is a Real Madrid fan.
Yo mama is so stupid that she asked how much is a free sample.
What did the tree say to the depressed kid?
"Stop hanging around."
What do they call Dwayne "the Rock" Johnson's son? The Pebble.
Why do orphans not use iPhones?
Because they don't have a home button.
Your mum is so fat that she took a spoon to the supercool.
Your hairline is so far back it looks like it got smacked up by Will Smith.
Why couldn't the horse give out a speech?
Option one: Horses can't speak at all.
Option two: His voice was a little *hoarse*.
150,000$
The bears came home. Daddy bear said, "Who's been eating my porridge?" said, "Who's been in my porch?" Baby bear said, "Never mind about the porridge, who knocked the telly?"
My friend: I want to cut myself.
Me: No, don’t do that. *hands lighter* Do this instead.
Why were the Twin Towers mad? They ordered pepperoni, and they only got plane.
A king ordered to execute a gay man.
The gay man came and said, "Please don't behead me, have pity!" The king replied, "I will have pity because I will impale you, let you enjoy your last moments."
Confusion life question!!!
* Can you cry underwater? * Do fishes ever get thirsty? * Why don't birds fall out the tree when they sleep? * Why is a building called that when it's already built? * When they say dog food is new and improved, who tastes it?
Yo mama is so fat, she gave a memory foam mattress Alzheimer's.
Why did the duck cross the road to get to his quack dealer?