Worst Jokes Ever
Q: What do you call a zombie with no mouth?
A: Useless.
Shut your transparent hairline up.
Why do orphans have no parents?
Because it was Batman!
Your forehead is so big I could sell advertising space by the mile on it.
I see 2 fighting with 3. "What's going on?" I ask. 5 responds: "The numbers are moving on up."
What's the difference between a human and a potato? There is none, you can eat both.
Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants? In case he gets a hole in one.
What do you call a kid in a wheelchair on fire?
Hot Wheels.
U mess with goose, he strain out all of your body juice.
U mess with goose, he hang u with noose.
"Do you have a noose?"
"Nose?"
"Yeah, noose- nose... I heard yours was stuffed lately--haha."
"I actually smell something--like a corpse. Is it you?"
"No."
*Dying on the inside has never been so detectable.*
Did you hear that Rushdie has a new book? It's titled "Buddha, that Fat Fuck."
There’s only one answer to who would win, 1996 Bulls or 2017 Warriors...
...Steve Kerr’s team.
Make like your hairline and scram!
Not to brag, but I defeated our local chess champion in less than five moves.
Finally my high school karate lessons came to some use.
My friend was getting bullied so I went over and asked him to stop. It went a little bit like this:
Me: Dude, leave her alone. Him: Beat it, b*tch. *lots of arguing and swearing* Me: Ya know! The smartest thing that ever came outta your mouth was probably a penis. Him: *walks away*
My friend: Hey, why are you always smiling?
Me: 'Cause life is a joke and we’re all slacking it off.
Your mama is so ugly, when she went to the circus they thought she was Pennywise, Mom.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To eat Bob's arms.
Bob went to hospital and had no arms.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Not Bob.
What do you call an IT teacher that touches his students?
A PDF file.
"Hey, what does IDK mean?"
"I don't know."
"Okay, then I am going to ask someone else."