Worst Jokes Ever
What did the fat say to the other fat? I am fatey.
What's the one thing that makes a depressed person jump? A bridge.
What did the lettuce say to the carrot?
"Lettuce be friends!"
Imagine you ask a girl out in braille.
And she leaves you on felt.
Make like your hairline and scram!
Not to brag, but I defeated our local chess champion in less than five moves.
Finally my high school karate lessons came to some use.
You have two brain cells; one is lost, and the other is out looking for it.
Do you know who Dee is?
Dees nuts!
Why are Santa's balls so big?
Because he comes once a year.
My friend was getting bullied so I went over and asked him to stop. It went a little bit like this:
Me: Dude, leave her alone. Him: Beat it, b*tch. *lots of arguing and swearing* Me: Ya know! The smartest thing that ever came outta your mouth was probably a penis. Him: *walks away*
My friend: Hey, why are you always smiling?
Me: 'Cause life is a joke and we’re all slacking it off.
What do you call a graveyard full of disabled people?
A cabbage patch.
Your hairline has a huge path between it, looks like Moses had something to do with it.
Your mama is so ugly, when she went to the circus they thought she was Pennywise, Mom.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To eat Bob's arms.
Bob went to hospital and had no arms.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Not Bob.
They don't call priests "daddy," they call me daddy.
Why did the orphan become famous? Because they said, "Go big or go home!"
Why did the orphan cross the road?
Not to get home, that's for sure.
Your hairline is so big, it's bigger than the universe!
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they can't hit a home run.