Worst Jokes Ever

Roses are red, violets are blue,

Jared from Subway touches the youth.

Why are the towers working out? They have big thighs!

My grandfather is a great fisherman, especially at baiting a rod.

I guess you could call him the Master Baiter.

Knock knock.

Who's there?

Terrier.

Terrier who?

Your Halloween decorations are terri-fying!

Knock, knock? Who's there? A mirror, I'm lonely.

When you say, "I wish I could cut off these bumps on my neck." (Your mom walking to you with a knife.)

So a kid was hanging out with his mom and this man comes up to him and said, "Hi, I'm your new dad." The kid did not think about it, and then he did and said, "But I already have a dad." The mom said, "That was not your real dad."

Yo mama so fat that when she saw Thanos and he tried to snap her out of existence, it didn't work, and he said, "Man, I quit!"

Do you know the teacher that went up into space?

You know what her husband said to her? "I will feed the dog; you feed the fish."

Why did the little boy get hit by a car?

Answer: Because Sally was driving!

Mom, start eating, or else you will get fatter!

A train walks into a bar. It says to the barkeeper, "I'll have a gallon of ale."

"A gallon?" the barkeeper asks.

"Yes," replies the train, "I always end up chugging it."

What do a tank and a warship have in common?

They're overweight.

Why can't orphans go on a field trip? Because they don't have a parent's signature.

What's the difference between a school shooting pistol and a baked potato? The physical composition, of course, but they both pack the same heat.

Why didn’t the pecan go to the ballet?

It was afraid of the nutcracker.

What did the kid say to the orphan?

"Well, at least I have parents!"

What eats nuts and bolts? A squirrel that’s running late!

Did you hear the one about the pecan, the walnut, and the cashew?

It was nut funny.

Why did the squirrel ask for a pay raise?

He was paid peanuts.