Worst Jokes Ever

I heard my neighbors having sex, and it was annoying me, so I called my girlfriend to ask if she wanted to go out, but when I called her, I heard my neighbors' phone ringing.

What do you call a guy with a big dick that likes to eat fish?

Long John Silvers or Captain D's.

"We make sexy time, yes, and every night I tap that."

I think if the center of the earth froze, it would be pretty hard core.

Why was the skeleton sad at the dance?

Because it had "no body" to go with.

Where does Captain Hook buy his hook?

At a second-hand store.

How many degreeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeees does Billy Corgan have?

1979.

How do you call Doom guy that drinks Monster Zero? Boom guy!

There are millions of people in the world, yet you are here.

The two biggest dyslexic guy lies: "My check is in your mouth," and "I won't come in your mailbox."

Mooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo - u

What's the difference to a kamikaze and bin Ladin?

Bin Ladin survived when he went into a building. I have aids.

What does a skeleton call their great-grandparents?

A fossil.

What do you call an iPhone put into a smoothie maker?--An Apple smoothie.

I have a fear of speed bumps, but I'm slowly getting over them.

This is an inside joke for my friend Caiden...

"Hey, where’d you get that paint from?" "Ha! Paint!"

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I accidentally hit an orphan with my car, but I was not worried because he couldn’t tell his parents.

What do you call fake noodles?

Impasta!

Masturbation is better than rough sex.