Worst Jokes Ever
What's it like to have the best daughter in the world? You'll have to ask grandma!
Note to all moms of teens, keep a dog. That way, someone is excited to see you!
Silence is golden. Unless you have kids, then silence is suspicious.
When does a computer function best? When it listens to its motherboard.
What stresses a baby strawberry out?
When its mom is in a jam.
Why can't black people have nightmares? Cause we shot the last one that had a dream.
Q: What do you call a rich Asian? A: Dr.
Your mama's like a cardboard box: open to the public and easy to nail.
They say that breakfast is the most important meal of the day. Well, not if it's poisoned. Then the antidote becomes the most important.
Why did Mozart kill all of his chickens?
When he asked them who the best composer was, they all replied, "Bach, Bach, Bach!"
What do you call headphones that walk out on their children? Deadbeats.
Why do some kids only experience 364 days per year?
Because they don't have a Father's Day.
Knock, knock.
"Who's there?"
Not your dad.
Why do so many kids love boomerangs? Because they always come back.
Your dad is so smart, he took one look at you and left.
Why do some kids have water with their cereal?
Because their dad never came back with the milk.
What is the difference between the pizza guy and my dad?
The pizza guy shows up when you call him.
I finally asked my deadbeat dad what makes him happy. His answer? He hasn't gotten back to me.
If you can make a woman laugh, you're almost there.
If you're almost there and then she laughs, then you've got a whole different problem on your hands.
What did Kermit the Frog say at Jim Henson's funeral? Nothing.