Worst Jokes Ever

Huggy's so fat, Playtime Co. had to make him a monument of fatness.

What happened to the chicken when he crossed the road? He didn't. He got run over by a truck.

I was going to charge my phone, so I pulled a plug and put it in. Then, my grandpa wasn't breathing anymore.

Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing, and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator says, "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence; then a gunshot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says, "OK, now what?"

When someone asks you why you went bald, say it wasn't a choice. It just happened.

Conservatives when they hear about “liberal arts:” 👊😡

Liberals when they find out about forest conservation: 😩👐

Progressives when they see a reaction video: 🤬

Reactionaries when a Progressive ad comes on (Flo is annoying): 😱

Anticoms realizing they are a part of a “community:” *seizure*

Anticaps when they have to Capitalize Their Words: 😤

Anti-monarchists when they pass a Burger King: 🫨

Antisocs when they are told to “socialize:” 🫠

Corporatists when they see a corpse: 🤤

Antifash when they spot a fashion show: 🤮

Classical liberals when the TV shows Family Feud: 😑🔫

Extremists when they are told to shoot “dead center” (they have bad aim): 😠🖕

Is she saying, "Watch for red flags because he's toxic," or is he socialist?

I hate "the woke" so much, I got mad when my mom said I "woke" up late for school.

What's the difference between Christian theocrats and Islamic fundamentalists?

Presentation.

Last week, I made a joke about leftists. Now it is time for me to take shots at the right, and then I will move on to centrists. But I just said the same thing twice.

If something doesn't make sense to an Eskimo... is it counterINUITive?

What is it called when the gynecologist slanders your grandfather?

A pap smear.

I was going to join the debating team.

... but someone talked me out of it.

Why doesn't Karl Marx like Earl Grey Tea?

Because all proper tea is theft.

Yo mama so Irish that she thought the Chicago Shamrox were a Quadball team.

Why did Playboi Carti’s partner complain about their love life? Because he kept repeating the same track and never reached the climax.

What’s long and hard and full of semen?

A submarine.

What’s the difference between anal and oral sex? Oral sex makes your day. Anal makes your hole weak.

What do you call it when the Edmonton Oilers play against the Nashville Predators? A Diddy Bowl.

What's an orphan's least favorite T.V. show?

Family Guy.